From Methods to Madness

The Jury Is In

2012-01-30T22:07:00.009-07:00

The first time I did NaNo, I learned how much graphs and word counts and progress bars motivate me. I like seeing my progress visually. It's so satisfying to look at how much work I've done and what I've accomplished. Seeing at a finished manuscript is nice, too, but it takes so long for me to get there. I need smaller carrots along the way.

This month I created my own spreadsheet to track my progress. Nothing fancy. But seriously, why the heck didn't I think of this sooner?? Because it's made a huge difference. Not only did it help motivate me on the days when it just seemed easier to scrap it all and zone in front of the TV, but it's satisfying to look back and realize that in all the craziness of the month (and let's face it--at this stage of life, is there a month that isn't crazy?) I did make some progress.

After a quick count, I figured I spent around 30 hours writing in January. Nothing like the speed of NaNo, but it's progress and it feels good.

Blogging has also helped keep me on track--especially posting on Monday night. It gets me on track for the coming week.

So, the jury is in. It's working for me for now, and as long as that happens, I'm here. Thanks for joining me.

What things do you do to keep yourself focused and motivated to plug away at it?

Book Review: CHIME

2012-01-23T19:50:00.004-07:00

I know a lot of reviews start out with a short summary/teaser of the book, but I want to skip that part, because I honestly think that to fully appreciate CHIME, by Franny Billingsley, the book is best read without any preconceived notions.

I'll be up front and say that I don't know as though this is a book for everyone. Some people won't have the patience with the main character and narrator, Briony. Some will wonder whether the fantasy part of it is real, or just some made-up figment of Briony's mind. Yet others will eat it up, want to splice it apart and figure out how the author wrote this genius of a book. I happen to fall in the latter category.

It took me a while to get there, though. It wasn't until halfway through that I fell totally in love--with the Swampsea and its otherworldly inhabitants, with Briony's wry humor, self-loathing and utter unreliability as a narrator. And of course with Eldric, the tawny boy-man who is as swoon-worthy as any Prince Charming, but with so much depth as to make him irresistible.

But what I loved the most, what I want to deconstruct sentence by sentence, is the unique and gorgeous voice. I was blown away by it. CHIME, in my opinion, is how first person should be done. Briony is a self-aware narrator, but only so far as how she sees herself. She's not putting her life on display for the reader or over-explaining like I feel happens too often in many first person narratives. Briony's narrative felt organic and authentic. Sometimes we are dropped into the middle of a scene, sometimes days or weeks pass between them, but it always felt like it was Briony's story, Briony's mind, not the author's.

If you're looking for something unique and fantastically imaginative, give this one a try. And if you read it, let me know what you think.

Identity Crisis

2012-01-20T09:32:00.003-07:00

You ever heard the terms "plotter" and "pantser?" If so, you're probably a writer. If not, you're either a new writer, or not a writer. (None of these are bad things.) For those of you who fall in the latter two categories, I'll give you a brief definition. Plotters are those who plot out novels. Pantsers are those who don't. Of course there's all sorts of nuances as to when the plotting happens, how, why, etc. but the basic definition is all you need to know for today.

For the longest time, I considered myself a pantser. I would get an idea for a story and sit down and just start. I never knew where I was going or how it would happen. It was exciting, and exhilarating. In fact, I prided myself on not plotting. Look at me! I'm so free-spirited and artistic that I don't need an outline! I'm just going to wing it and something amazing will happen!

For example: NaNoWriMo 2010. I pantsed my way through that one, with a minimal outline as to where I was going. (I had notecards. A few imagined scenes. That's really it.) Granted that's kind of what NaNo is all about.

I loved the book that came out of NaNo that year, but it needed a LOT of work once it was done. In fact, it's still my current work in progress. Do you want to know how many times I've started the book over again? About 5. Do you want to know how many times I've finished a complete manuscript? 0.

(Okay, the NaNo was technically a complete manuscript, but it was seriously so haphazardly thrown together that it was horrible [I knew it was horrible as I was writing it] so that one really doesn't count to me as finished.)

A few months ago I signed up for a writing class because I really wanted a kick in the pants to motivate me to finish. The teacher has an MFA from VCFA in children's writing (drool). She's very nice. (We emailed.) She's also very smart. So I felt intimidated. I needed my manuscript to be cohesive. I knew it had problems. Wanna know what I did?

I plotted. (As mentioned in a previous post.) Yes, free-spirited, artistic fly by the seat of my pants girl plotted her novel.

And do you know what? I think I might actually be a plotter after all. Because it turns out that I'm a little bit of a perfectionist. And methodical. And making plots does not come naturally to me at all. So I need to have one figured out before I start writing, or the story will not actually have a plot.

Sad.

But happy, because now I have a plot. Yay! But the downside is that I'm terrified to start writing again. I just spent the last month figuring out a plot. So now I have to write in scene. Which is really hard when you haven't done that in a while. And intimidating, because what if all the stuff that happened and seemed really cool and exciting in my head while I was doing all the plotting doesn't actually end up that cool and exciting once I write it?

Hence the reason for blogging today. I'm pretty much procrastinating starting all over. Again.

2012-01-16T13:19:00.004-07:00

'Tis the season for colds, flu and other fun stuff. We have it at our house, so I'm making it quick this week. (And crossing my fingers that the super-mom gene prevents me from getting sick, too.)

An update on last week's progress: I spent a total of 14 hours on writing and writing related stuff. Most of it was spent doing a chapter outline of my WIP. I now have the novel plotted through the second act. I have no idea how to end it, though. I know where I want my character to get to, I just don't know how to get her there. I've left her in the middle of all sorts of trauma and dark moments. Poor thing. But she's just going to have to wait a little longer because I've decided to draft the first two thirds of the book and hope that by the time I've written through act two, I'll have a better idea of what needs to happen.

Crossing my fingers, anyway. I've never plotted a novel in this much detail before, but I hope it will help me be more efficient in drafting it. And I need to be efficient because I'm taking a class in February...

This week I hope to write a total of 8,000 words. That's about half the pace of NaNo, so I think I can do it. We'll see how it goes. (Assuming the super-mom gene kicks in.)

What do you want to accomplish this week?

The BIG Question

2012-01-09T20:42:00.002-07:00

Third grade was a tough year for my little nine-year-old self. I got my tonsils out, my older sister moved out and went to college, and my cat died of cancer. To a nine-year-old, that's a lot of change. Oh yeah, and I started wearing a bra. (Sorry if that's too much information for some of you, but I know many others will relate to it.) Anyway, in addition to all that hard change, I was shy and too self-aware for my own good. I wanted desperately to have friends, but I didn't know how to make them. So I spent a lot of time reading, and a lot of time playing shadow to my teacher during recess instead of socializing with my peers.

Third grade was also the year we started Writer's Workshop at my Elementary School, and I embraced that subject like the friends I didn't have. When my cat died, I wrote a book about it. When I had my tonsils out, I wrote a book about that, too. Writing felt like confiding in a good friend. We got to design our own covers, make our own illustrations, and get them spiral bound. I loved it.

On the last day of third grade, as we filed out of the classroom, seconds away from the freedom of long, lazy summer days that only children really appreciate, my teacher said to me, "I'm going to see a book published by you one day."

I don't know if she really, truly meant it, or if she was just giving the kind of encouragement that teachers are "supposed" to give, but that comment has stayed with me in a way that no other comment by a teacher has. Ever. I remember thinking at the time, "Really? She thinks I can write a book? And have it published?"

That summer I wrote a novel that was a cross between Anne of Green Gables and The Hobbit on a white legal pad. (Can you guess what I was reading at the time?) Thankfully, the manuscript didn't survive, but I still remember with fond nostalgia the time I spent creating and imagining underneath the shade of our Russian Olive tree in the backyard.

Fast-forward about fifteen years. I was a new mother struggling with a colicky baby. I'd just left my full-time job teaching music and my husband had just started his grueling senior year of college. We were poor. Once again I was at a place in my life where I was isolated--I'd left most of my friends behind in the workplace and hadn't yet figured out how to be a mother and have a social life, too. So I did the same thing I did in third grade: I turned to books. Since baby number one refused to sleep without being held (despite reading every book, trying every method I could find to get her to sleep independently), it became my habit to sit in the rocking chair with a book in one hand while I nursed her until she fell asleep. Then I had thirty precious minutes, twice a day, to read. It's probably what kept me from going completely crazy that year.

Eventually some of her sleeping kinks worked out (though she never did nap longer than thirty minutes at a time) and I started writing again, for the first time since third grade (save the obligatory, angst-ridden poetry in high school). I remembered what my third grade teacher had told me, but I still thought, "Can I really write a book?"

Then I read The Goose Girl by Shannon Hale. In addition to loving the book for its story and the superb writing, I was also blown away that an LDS woman and mother could be successful at writing. Because in the process of tinkering with my own writing again, that question, "Can I really write a book?" had sort of morphed into, "Should I write a book?" Or, more broadly, "Should I be a writer at all?"

You see, I struggle--and I don't think I'm the only one--with what the best way is to spend my time. I take the responsibility of nurturing and loving and teaching my children very seriously. It is top on my priority list, along with God and my marriage. So sometimes I wonder if it's a waste of the time given me to pursue writing. It's no longer a question of Can I, but Should I?

I think about this a lot, and I pray about it a lot. Some days I agonize over it. Probably one of the reasons I set the goals I did for January--to write everyday and to blog once a week--was to see if I should do this. Because when I really think about it, I know I can. But I want to find out whether devoting regular time to writing will encroach on my responsibilities to my children, my husband and my Heavenly Father.

Now for a short progress report: Last week I managed to write most days. The excel document I started using to log my hours says I spent a total of ten hours on writing last week. I'm happy with this. I'm making progress. So far, those ten hours haven't made me feel like I'm neglecting my other responsibilities. I feel good about the time I've spent this week.

I know that this struggle about how I spend my time is not a unique only to me, to women, or even to people only of my faith. I think a lot of people struggle with it, but I wonder if they spend as much time obsessing over it as I do. It's the question I most want to know about people, but not one I can't really ask at parties. So I'm asking anyone reading this. How do you reconcile the time you spend doing what you love, verses the time you need to spend doing what is the most important? I'd love to hear from other writers, but really anyone who has a passion that falls outside the realm of their normal responsibilities. Do you feel guilty? Do you ignore the guilt? Do you feel it enriches the other areas of your life? In what ways? Or is it even something you think about at all?

I'm all ears. In other news, check this out. If you're a writer, you should do it. I think I'm going to try it, too.

New Year, New Focus

2012-01-02T20:24:00.005-07:00

Hello blog. Hello tiny world that I have neglected for months. I'm here to brush off the dust and clean out the cobwebs. No apologies for not posting more often because I've already done that so many times that it's probably starting to seem a little insincere.

So. It's a New Year. It seems like everyone in the blogging world is posting their 2012 goals. While lurking on a few of them, I began to think, why not me, too?

I haven't really known what to do with this little blog of mine for a while now. (Hence the reason for the lack of posts.) I've been a little conflicted about where it should go. I've felt the urge to change from focusing on my personal/family life to focusing on my writerly life. But I resisted that urge, because I wonder who among my readers would care about any of that. They just come here for the pictures of my cute kids, right? It also seems counterproductive to write about writing, because shouldn't I be spending my time actually working on my current work-in-progress?

You see the struggle. But despite all that, I'm going to go for it. I feel compelled to go for it. It's going on seven years that I've been trying to do this thing (this writing thing) seriously and I want to feel like I'm going somewhere with it. Maybe writing about it, venting my frustrations, posting my progress, discussing my hang-ups will at least help me feel like I'm going somewhere.

Or maybe it's that I want to hold myself accountable. The past year I've struggled to carve out sufficient writing time. I've had to make some tough choices and give up a few (good) things in an effort to guard my time, but it still seems like there's never enough to go around. Maybe if I post once a week (and really how much extra time will that take in the grand scheme of things?) it will help keep me focused from all the other distractions in life. Because the fact is, I want 2012 to be my year. The year that I finally finish this *&^% draft and start another one. The year that I make writing an everyday part of my life, no matter what.

I guess that pretty much sums up my writing goals this year: Finish my WIP and write everyday (blogging and journaling included). As far as this little space, for the next month I'm going to commit to writing one post a week. In February I'll re-evaluate. If it's working for me--keeping me more centered and focused in my writing, I'll continue. If not, I'll figure out something else.

For those of you still reading, wish me luck. Share your own goals, writing-related or not. And for those of you just here for the pictures, I promise to throw some in every now and then.

Happy 2012!

2011-09-08T12:44:00.005-06:00

Today Jeremy and I attended a Mommy and Me Horse class at a Sun Pony Ranch. We had so much fun!

Here he is riding "our" horse, whose name was Shoshoni.

That's a mighty big horse for such a little boy, but she was very gentle. Jeremy said his favorite part was when they twotted. (That's trotted for those of you who don't speak 3-year-old.) He wasn't scared at all. We also learned about horse safety, grooming and saddling. It was a perfect morning and a fun way to spend it with my little boy.

maybe I'll try this blogging thing again

2011-06-20T11:09:00.002-06:00

Don't hold your breath or anything. If you've read this blog from its inception (which might only include one or two people) you know I'm a hot and cold blogger.

Last week I went to the WIFYR Conference in Sandy, UT. I can't really describe my experience without using a bunch of cliches, so I don't think I will. Suffice it to say that I'm inspired enough to dive in without looking back.

Some things I learned:
1. I'm a writer.
2. Don't be coy with your readers.
3. Don't let craft get in the way of creativity.

What I need to work on:
Creating work that is true to me. Works that, whether they ever get published or not, I am satisfied with.

Last night I tried to explain to Jason what that meant. I told him about the time I went to a piano competition in eighth grade. I'd toiled and slaved over this song--Mozart's Fantasy in D minor--with absolute focus. I'd worked on it so much that it became part of me. It became personal. The morning of the competition, I had little butterflies, but not because I wasn't prepared. I knew I'd done everything I could to prepare. I only felt nervous because I wondered if all the work was going to pay off or not.

It did. After I finished the song, I had The Feeling--the one where you know you've nailed it. It wouldn't have mattered what the judges said, I was satisfied. I had made something good. I did end up taking first place, but I'd like to think that it wouldn't have mattered. Sure, there might have been disappointment that nobody had appreciated it as much as I did, but I think I still would have been satisfied with my effort.

That's where I want to get with my writing. I want to work and slave and focus so much that it becomes personal. So whether it's published or not doesn't matter, because I will have nailed it. I will know I've made something good.

I did it!

2010-11-30T22:30:00.003-07:00

I haven't felt such a sense of accomplishment in a long time. I hope to post a little more about my experience this month and what I've learned, but now I have to gear up for a day trip to Utah for my grandpa's funeral and then a retreat this weekend.

But first, I have some sleep to catch up on.

Another Year

2010-11-04T12:14:00.003-06:00

I've taken quite the hiatus from blogging, haven't I? I'd like to say it's because I've been busy with writing and other exotic, exciting things, but that's only 1/8 part true.

It was my birthday recently and at the end of the day I laid in bed awake wondering what I had accomplished in the past year since I turned 30. I thought of lots of things I didn't do--like finish my book. Or run in a race. Or lose those last ten pounds. So I tried to think about what I have done. Here are a few stats I tallied in my head. (They're rough estimates.)

I've prepared upwards or eight or nine hundred meals
Changed about that many dirty diapers (probably even more)
Washed at least 500 loads or laundry
Put 50,000 miles on my car, mainly driving kids around, grocery shopping, doctor's appointments, school...
Babysat (for other people's kids) around 75 times
Who knows how many trips to the grocery store, how many counters wiped or rooms vacuumed.

I had to stop there--I was starting to get a little depressed--and force myself to think about some of the good things (not that I don't enjoy taking care of my family, but the everyday things do start to get a little mundane after awhile). Like watching two fabulous kids grow another year older. Ella is learning so much in school and reading like a champ. Jeremy is the sunshine in my day. I haven't finished my book, but I have an amazing writing group that inspires me and keeps me on track. I haven't run a marathon (or even a 5K) but I can run for 20 minutes straight without feeling like I'm going to die (no laughing all you running veterans). I have a wonderful family and some amazing friends, a nice warm house, plenty to eat, and plenty to wear. There's a lot to be thankful for.

Wow, I didn't expect this to turn into a Thanksgiving post, but looks like that's the direction it has taken. And speaking of another event that happens in November, I'm doing NaNoWriMo along with several others from my writing group. Day 4 and I am 6,052 words into a shiny new manuscript (I temporarily shelved the other one to get some perspective). So far so good, but I've heard week two is the hardest, so I may need some encouragement then! I'm hoping I can stick this one out a little longer than I did last March. I think it helps that there's thousands of other people doing it with me, including some great friends. Now to get back to it...

A month in bullets

2010-05-18T08:53:00.012-06:00

It's been pretty busy around here the last month or so. I've wanted to write in-depth posts about everything going on, but there just hasn't been time. Now it's all piled up! So I thought I'd utilize the bullet-form.

Joe Biden visited my husband's work. Yes, that Joe Biden,along with a bunch of senator people and the governor of Colorado. Jason's company is kind of the poster-child for the American Recovery Act, from which they received a substantial grant last summer that has allowed them to grow in very significant ways. The visit came at the opening of the brand-new facility that has the capacity to employ up to 3,000 employees, which is saying something because the company only employs 70 right now. I've never been super political, but I must say it was a pretty cool experience. My favorite part? When they put the presidential seal on the podium after the CEO of Jason's company spoke, but before all the politicians got up to speak. Just in case we weren't sure which country Joe Biden was vice-president of.
What did I get out of the visit? I learned that when media and people report about what a politician says, it's invariably going to be slanted to their beliefs and opinion. It was good to see what a leader of our country has to say for himself, and create my own opinions about it. I was actually really impressed with Biden. He was very passionate about what he had to say (as you can tell from the first picture). That's all I'm going to say about that because I don't want to spark any political discussion on my blog--I'm a peace-lovin' woman, people. ;)
I'm in the midst of performance and rehearsal season for my women's vocal group, Take Note. Our program this spring incorporates songs through the decades starting in the 1920s and ending with hits from today. The songs are a lot of fun to sing. Some of my favorites: Route 66, Fields of Gold, And So It Goes, Motown Medley, Don't Stop Believin' and (of course) Dancing Queen. Because I get to play the tambourine! I hope to post a video of it on my blog soon (just for you, Jen--I think of you every time we sing it!) For those of you who live around here, we have a concert open to the public on June 12 at my church. If you want to come, contact me and I'll give you the info!
Last weekend I attended the Big Sur in the Rockies Writer's Workshop. I stayed with my writer's group in a cute little cottage at the lovely Chautauqua. We had so much fun together. I also had the opportunity to schmooze with several editors and agents and hear valuable feedback from them. I gained a lot of insight into my works-in-progress and came away with the high I always get from associating with like-minded people who are just as (insanely) passionate as I am about writing. I feel much more focused on what direction I need to take with my writing.
This last one is just for fun. Jason rented some pretty fancy-dancy photography equipment for an upcoming photography trip he's taking to the southwest. We decided on a whim last night to take some fun pictures of the family with it. He needed to get a good feel for the equipment anyway. We went to Lake McIntosh and he took pictures while the kids played at the park. He also got a lot of scenery shots of Long's Peak, and then we tried a family portrait. I thought this one was cute.
I know it's not professional and our clothes are all rumpled and don't match and the shadows aren't quite right, but I love everyone's smile, and how it looks like a candid moment captured in time. And it was. The kids had the best time racing to get into position before the camera clicked, and we ended up just laughing and enjoying being together. I think I'll remember the fun time we had every time I look at the picture. Isn't that what it's all about, anyway?

2010-04-26T16:10:00.004-06:00

Here is where I spent my weekend:

These are the people I spent it with:

We ate lots of delicacies which included (but were definitely not limited to) these:

(Courtesy of Gwyn and some amazing cupcake shop in Seattle that I must visit in person someday.) I had a wonderful, relaxing weekend with my mom, sister and sister-in-law (though the in-law part is really not a necessary distinction). It was so nice to be able to have complete thoughts, complete conversations, and sometimes complete silence without any interruptions. I do love my kids, but it's nice to get away now and then.

Jason held down the fort like a champ, and when I came home, he had amazingly delicious ribs waiting for me, and we watched this concert together that he recorded on the DVR. To remind me, of course, that while the Pacific Northwest is stunningly beautiful, home is still (for now and the foreseeable future) in Colorado.

The best french toast you'll ever have

2010-03-27T13:47:00.003-06:00

I had a really awesome group of friends in high school. I don't know if I've ever blogged about them before, but they were really great. We used to do all sorts of crazy stuff together, but we also kept each other on the right path. I think I was really fortunate to have these girls in my life at the time, because they made high school a time that I actually look back on fondly (which I know is not the case for everyone). We're all scattered around now, though I think we all still live in the west. We keep in touch as best we can, but since I'm not too far from where we grew up, I get to see many of them once or twice a year when they come back to visit their parents.

Last weekend several of them were in town so I had a little brunch at my house. I made Creme Brulee French Toast, and it was a big hit. I got the recipe from a friend of mine, but I also found a similar version here on allrecipes.com. Several asked me for the recipe, so I thought I'd post it. Here's my version:

Creme Brulee French Toast

1/2 cup butter
1 cup packed brown sugar
2 TBSP corn syrup (I might try substituting maple syrup next time--I've heard that's good.)
1 loaf Texas toast bread
5 eggs, lightly beaten
1 1/2 cups half and half
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp orange extract

In small saucepan melt butter, brown sugar and corn syrup over medium heat until smooth, stirring occasionally. Pour mixture into a 9x 13 pan coated with cooking spray. Spread to cover surface. Place 12 slices (or however many fit in your pan) Texas toast bread in a single layer to cover pan (squish them in--the more surface covered, the better). Mix together eggs, cream, salt, vanilla and orange extract. Pour mixture evenly over bread so that each piece of bread gets covered and saturated. Cover and refrigerate overnight (or at least 8 hrs). Bake uncovered at 350 F for about 30-40 min until puffed and lightly browned. Remove from pan and serve. If not serving immediately turn each slice of bread over (to prevent bread from sticking to bottom of the pan). Serve with syrup butter:

Syrup Butter:
1/2 cup butter
1 1/2 cups pancake syrup
Melt together and serve over toast.

I didn't think to take any pictures, so you'll have to trust me when I say this recipe is divine. Besides, how can something with this much butter, sugar and cream not taste good?

Another Work in Progress

2010-03-25T14:10:00.006-06:00

I'm still only about 5,000 words into my book. I've been working on it, but mostly little sketches that I'll add in later, so I don't know how to really count those yet. I've also been doing research. And speaking of research, if any of you out there are runners, and specifically ran cross country in high school, leave me a comment if you're willing to share some of your experiences with me. I've only recently taken up running, and I don't consider myself good enough to even be classified as amateur yet. I'm still more in the category of gasping for each breath like it was my last during a run.

Anyway, that's all the hints I'm giving about the content of my book. On to other things.

I woke up this morning and decided it was time to paint my bedroom. I've always thought that painting would be something I would enjoy, but I've been too chicken to try it since we bought our house. White walls really don't even bother me, but the thought of splashing on some color brought a smile to my face, and it feels good to get excited about something again. So I packed the kids in the car and headed to Lowe's, where I got three color samples. I've known what color I've wanted in my room almost since we moved in three years ago, so it didn't take long to choose. I came out with three shades of a sagey/mossy green. Then I called Jason at work, because I figured I should at least run this by him, you know, 'cause it's his bedroom too... Here's how the conversation went:

Me: Hey, I was wondering if you would mind too much if I painted a few samples in our bedroom.

Jason: Uh....

Me: I thought I should probably run this by you since once I slap some color on there we're pretty much committed.

Jason: Yeah. So, what brought this on?

Me: I just woke up this morning and decided I wanted to paint the bedroom.

Jason:

Me: And I thought I could ask Christina [a friend of mine gifted in the area of home improvement/remodel] to show me how to tape things off and stuff. Because I've never painted anything before.

Jason: Yeah, that might be a good idea.

Me: So are you okay with it?

Jason: Sure. I'm just trying to figure out how I can get a telescope out of this.

And that's how our marriage works. There's a lot of give and take. I get a painted bedroom, he gets a new telescope. Of course he was teasing (mostly). I do love him (among many other reasons) for the fact that he's easygoing enough to go along with my whims, because they usually come out of nowhere. And once I assured him he would have equal say in the final color choice, he was game. So here are the samples:

The picture doesn't really do it justice, but at least you can't see how bad my technique is (gonna have to get some pointers on that before I start...). What do you think? I'm leaning towards the one in the middle--Moss, it's called, but I also like the one on the right, Sea Mist Green. The left one is too dark for me.

Anyway, now I'm jonesing for a new bedroom set to go with it, along the lines of this:

Yummy. With this cool plantation chest:

All from this website. Loved their stuff, but I'll have to save my money for a long time if I want any of it. Not just for the furniture, but for the camera lens I'd have to get for Jason in exchange... :)

March NaNo wk 2

2010-03-14T21:03:00.000-06:00

I came a hair shy of meeting my 5,000 word goal. As of today (Friday) I'm only at 4,200. It's been a crazy week, because I set some goals, of course, and fate (or my children) are bent on making sure I don't meet them. Such is the life of a mom. But I'm not giving up...
___

Okay, so it's Sunday now. I got interrupted while writing this post by a call from the school, where Ella was sick and expected to throw up any moment. (Seriously, that's what the school secretary told me.) Being Ella's mom and knowing her rather well, I didn't rush quite as much as I think they wanted me to. When I got there, I was greeted by many crusty looks from the office staff and a sunny smile from Ella. Suffice it to say, she wasn't on the brink of vomiting, but I took her home anyway. Of course, if I worked in a school and a kid came up to me and told me they needed to throw up, I would take them seriously, too, so I don't blame the staff or anything. Or Ella. She did end up getting sick later that night, poor thing.

I'd been hoping to get in another thousand words while Jeremy napped last Friday, but that didn't happen, and I haven't cracked this computer again until now. See, what did I tell you? The life of a mom is never predictable. In fact, I feel like my entire life is a work-in-progress right now. My house is a work in progress: laundry, dishes, yardwork--they're never done. Even raising kids. It's all a work in progress. So I've been working on other works in progress this weekend, just not the one I've wanted to focus on this month. And that's okay. I do what I can. But here's to hoping that next week is a little more predictable....10,000 words, here I come!

Wish me luck, 'cause I'm gonna need it!

2010-03-04T09:14:00.003-07:00

I don't know if this will really interest any of my "regular" readers (hi there, you still with me? Have I lost you from my inconsistency?), but I'm posting anyway because the internet is a great place to use for accountability purposes, if nothing else!

Laini Taylor, author of The Dreamdark books and Lips Touch (a finalist for the National Book Award in 2009) has started a March mini NaNo month over on her blog. You can read more about it there if you're interested, but for those of you who don't know what NaNoWriMo is, it's a sort of contest to write a whole book during the month of November. I personally think that November is an awful month for it--hello busy holiday season!--so I was excited to jump on board when I saw that Ms. Taylor decided to start her own in March. I've just started a new project and am feeling very optimistic about it, so I couldn't pass it up. even though I've never done one of these online challenges before, and I'm a bit nervous.

I've never done one of these online challenges, so I'm a little nervous, but there are a couple of things I hope to accomplish by joining. First, I want to create a tangible deadline for myself to get some stuff down before I lose steam. I also hope to have the bones of the rough draft in place by the end of the month so I can flesh it out and rewrite in April. Then, hopefully I'll have a halfway decent chunk to take with me to my writers' workshop in May. I don't want to give myself a word count goal like some of the other participants are doing. I'm not the most prolific writer, and I'm worried that I might end up writing a whole load of crap just to reach my goal. I will, however post a weekly word count as a way to keep myself accountable and to gauge my progress, but I won't be posting any information about the actual content of my book. Sorry. I divulged too soon with my previous project (from which I'm taking a break) and I think I jinxed it.

So. As of last night, I had 1,875 words down (not including snippets I've written that I hope to incorporate later into the plot). It'd be nice to reach 5,000 by next Thursday, even better to get to 10,000. (No pressure or anything...) Here goes!

A few resolutions

2010-01-03T15:08:00.003-07:00

Where have I been the last 3 months? Well, here and there and everywhere. But I won't bore you with details that have grown fuzzy even to me. Instead, I'm going to start fresh and list a few New Year's Resolutions I've made. (The ones I'm willing to make public, that is.) It's pretty simple this year, and basically boils down to this:

1. Write more
2. Run more

See, pretty simple. I do have specific goals within each category. For example, I'd like to start spending 1 hour each night on my current WIP (work in progress), in addition to the 2 hours I already spend twice a week while Ella's in school and Jeremy naps. I also want to attend a writing conference this Spring with the Rocky Mountain Chapter of the SCBWI with some of my critique group friends.

As far as the second item, I'll admit I oversimplified a bit. It just sounded snazzy because it started with the same sound. And I do plan on running more--there are at least two local 5Ks I want to run this spring and summer. But really I just want to continue working towards becoming more fit and finally shedding those last few pesky pounds I put on with my pregnancies.

Why am I telling you this? Well, you might notice that blogging more is not one of the goals listed, but don't worry. It's not because I plan on giving it up (though I came dangerously close to that). I've decided that my blog can be a great way to enhance my work in these areas by keeping me accountable to them and tracking my progress. So if all goes as planned, you can expect more posts about those things in 2010. I really do want to utilize my blog this way, so hopefully three months won't go by before my next post, but if they do, I'm not going to feel guilty about it.

Because that's the third resolution. Spend less time feeling guilty.

Happy New Year!

1001 Books

2009-09-21T14:17:00.003-06:00

Have you heard of this book? It's a list of 1001 books that a bunch of critics think you should read before you die. I don't actually own the book, but there are all sorts of websites on the internet that have a list of the books, which is nice for me, maybe not so nice for the publisher. :).

I think it's an interesting list. I agree with a lot of the books on it, some of the books I've never heard of, and there are a few books that I can't believe they left off. But being a list person and a bookworm, I'm intrigued. So I decided in my effort to be more well-read, I'm going to make a goal to read 10 books from the list a year. Of course at that pace, I will most likely never read every book on the list, but there are some books that I don't want to read no matter what the critics say, and I have read about 30 of them already, so that shaves 3 years off. Also, I have my own genres that I like to read (like YA and fantasy) that are almost completely left off the list of 1001, and reading only 10 books a year will allow me time to read those, too. Anyway, here's what I've decided to read this year:

1. Robinson Crusoe – Daniel Defoe (1710s)
2. Gulliver’s Travels – Jonathan Swift (1720s)
3. Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens (1830s)
4. Moby-Dick – Herman Melville (1850s)
5. The House of the Seven Gables – Nathaniel Hawthorne (1850s)
6. The Moonstone – Wilkie Collins (1860s)
7. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll (1860s)
8. Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy (1870s)
9. The Portrait of a Lady – Henry James (1880s)
10. The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde – Robert Louis Stevenson (1880s)

I'm going to post this on my sidebar and edit it once I finish a book. Not sure if I will be organized enough to post reviews of each book here--I'm not much of a reviewer anyway, but if a particular book strikes a chord, I might. We'll see. I might not even read them in that order, and I my time frame is loose. I'm keeping it low-key. I like the idea of making lists of books I want to read because every time I go to the library or a book store, I always end up going a little crazy and bringing home way more books that I have time to read. Then I get frustrated because I have to return them before I'm done, and worry that I'll forget which books I wanted to read. If I keep a list, then I can go to the library and get one or two, and I know that I can just look at my list to find what I want for the next trip. A little anal, I know, but it works for me.

And speaking of books, I just finished Catching Fire, the sequel to The Hunger Games. If you haven't read either of these books, you really need to. No joking. Both have riveting plots and great writing. Not all books have both elements--these do. Just make sure to block out a day for each. Once you pick them up, you won't want to put them down.

So, does anybody have any good book suggestions for me? If so, leave them in the comments! I love getting recommendations from my friends and fellow readers.

A new school year

2009-09-01T14:17:00.004-06:00

If you know me well, it's really not secret to you that I hate summer. I hate the heat, I don't like the harsh rays of the sun, and now that I'm a mom, I don't like the lack of schedule, either. Growing up I think I liked summer merely because of the break from school (I mean, come on, what kid doesn't like a break from school?) but I still hated the heat. So I always look forward to fall. It's my favorite season, winter coming in at a close second. I love the way the sun mellows out a little. It still shines (at least here in Colorado) but it's not so hot that I feel like I'm melting. And I love the thought of getting out sweaters and fleece and long sleeved shirts, and that cool crispy feel of the air that wakes me up instead of putting me to sleep.

Anyway, we're not quite there yet, (still wearing short sleeves) but a sure sign of fall is a new school year, and this year it was especially significant to us because Ella started kindergarten! Here she is at school on her first day:

I was worried about her first day--the elementary school she attends has a different schedule than any I've ever heard of. Instead of 5 half days a week, they go 1 half day and two full days. It's the same amount of time, just arranged a little differently. Since the first day of school happened to fall on one of the full days, I worried it would be too long for her, that she wouldn't eat enough lunch and get hungry, that she'd be afraid to use the bathroom and have an accident...basically all those little things us moms obsess about. But it all ended up going really well. It doesn't often occur to Ella to be scared or nervous about transitions; she tends adapt to them in a way that I admire, and her first day of school was no exception. No tears from her when I dropped her off (I'll leave it up to your imagination whether there were any on my side...) and she was full of stories and anecdotes from her day when I picked her up. I think she enjoyed the social stimulation and interaction with her peers. She has a great teacher, which I'm sure helped a lot, too.

Lately she's been intrigued by the little boy who sits next to her that keeps getting a red stick (something you get when you've misbehaved). She is quite proud of herself for always having a green stick (they get a green stick at the start of everyday, and the goal is to keep it that way) but I've noticed she talks about this other boy with an almost reverent awe. Hopefully she continues to admire from afar, rather than join in his antics. Time will only tell, though I'm not too worried.

As far as the schedule that I worried about all summer...I actually really like it. I find that I enjoy having two full days a week to focus on Jeremy as well as have a little bit of quiet time to myself. I think it's going to be a great year--it'll fly by (don't they always, these days?) but we'll enjoy it.

The end of an era

2009-08-16T19:17:00.004-06:00

Thanks to everyone's warm and encouraging comments from my previous post. I am blessed to have so many caring friends. I'm doing better now that Jason is home for a few days. To give you some idea of what life has been like for us, Jason has put in three 80-hour work weeks in the last month. I knew the end was in sight, but I was losing steam rapidly near the end there. But I'm not going to dwell on the negative anymore--we made it through; Friday was his last day at his old job. He has a couple days off before starting his new one (we're unemployed for two days!) and will start on Wednesday.

Last week his old job had a farewell luncheon for him and invited me and the kids. I was very surprised when I grew a little misty-eyed on the drive to his work. But when I thought about it, I realized that Jason has worked for this particular company for as long as we've known each other(I think they hired him a month after we met), and as such it has been a steady influence throughout our life together and in our family.

In many ways, the company was such a blessing to us--Jason worked there when we were dating, when we got married, it supported us through school, and was there when we had both of our kids. They took pretty good care of us there, and it was a small company so it had a friendly feel--a little like family. Sometimes you love them, sometimes you want to gouge their eyes out with a spoon, but through it all, they are a constant presence.

I know it was a difficult decision for Jason to make to leave. He agonized over it for days. He is a loyal employee like that, but he ultimately decided that the direction the company was going wasn't the best direction for our family. We were very blessed for him to find a new job so close to home that will allow him (we hope) to be home more often. I recognize the Lord's hand in our lives and am so grateful for it, and I am grateful to Jason for his devotion to our family. So many things to put under the heading of "Things that give me hope."

2009-08-13T15:30:00.002-06:00

When I was younger, I wore my heart on my sleeve. I'm pretty sure that everyone who knew me could figure out my mood just by looking at me. As I've gotten older, I've become less willing to bear my soul, and I've learned how to temper my emotions and not let things get under my skin as easily. At least that's how I feel anyway--there are a lot of things I think and feel that I just don't say out loud anymore. In my personal experience, there are certain things that just don't need to be said because they don't make anyone feel any better, including myself. I know that there's some people who wouldn't agree with that, which is okay. There's lots of different ways to live.

So this post is a little uncharacteristic of me. It's kind of hard for me. But I'm having a hard time this week, and I needed somewhere to go to work it out, and my blog seemed like a good idea. Who knows. Maybe I'll regret it. I figure with the 1 or 2 loyal readers I have, there is less chance of me making a fool of myself and saying something I'll regret than on facebook with my 138 friends.

I don't really know why I am having a hard time, but I know that I'm feeling down. I'm feeling worthless, and frustrated and a little like a failure. I just read a middle grade fiction book by Denise Vega (a local CO author that I met at my retreat--very cool lady and great writer) called Click Here (to Find Out How I Survived the Seventh Grade) Awesome, awesome book! I loved it. Anyway, it's the story of a girl named Erin who loves computers and is very talented with them. She creates her own webpage that she never intends to publish, so it ends up being her diary of sorts. After particularly bad days, she sometimes ends her blog entries with two headings: "Things that I'm worried/sad/frustrated about," and "Things that give me hope." I thought it was a clever idea. Here's my own version.

Things I'm worried about right now:

I can't find any motivation to work on my book. What if it never gets done? What if I've told all these people about it, joined a writer's group, and I fail? Maybe it's the fear of failure that's keeping me from working on it.
Jason's been working a lot this week because he's quit his job and found a new one. I'm tired. I feel guilty for wanting a break from my kids, but I do.
What if Jason's new job isn't as good as his old one? What will the new schedule be like? Will he really be home more often? Why, oh why did he have to get a new church calling right when I thought I would get him back for a little bit?
Ella's going to kindergarten in a week. She's going to be gone all day for two days a week, and suddenly it feels like a lot. Have I taught her everything she needs to know before I throw her to the wolves? Will she make the transition okay? Did I make the right choice to send her now instead of waiting another year?

Things that give me hope, or things that make life seem bearable:

Jason has two days off before he starts his new job.
I love Jeremy's profile. I know it's weird, but everytime I look at it, it makes me happy.
Ella goes to school in a week. I will have a small amount of time to myself. (As long as Jeremy keeps napping...cross your fingers.)
I made bread today from my own freshly ground wheat. It turned out, the house smells wonderful, and it's very tasty.

I know everything will work out. And look, I have four bullet points to prove that things aren't as bad as I'm making them out to be! I am blessed, I am loved, and I have fresh, home-baked bread.

5

2009-08-11T21:24:00.002-06:00

Today was Ella's fifth birthday. When I looked at her today and thought about how big she is compared to the tiny baby she was five years ago, it boggles my mind. But then I think of all the days between then and now and it doesn't seem so far-fetched. Either way, I'm grateful to have Ella in my life. I know it might sound kind of funny to say, but I've learned a tremendous amount from her.

I think she had a good birthday. We had her first friend party complete with balloons, cupcakes, and streamers and a Tinkerbell theme, so we had a lot of fun with fairy dust (aka glitter) in the backyard, and she got tons of tinkerbell themed toys. I'm not sure my house will ever be free of glitter after giving seven little girls a small bag full of it, but it was really a lot of fun. I took lots of pictures, but I'm too tired to post any tonight--I'll hopefully get around to that soon. After I've cleaned up the mess...

After the party this morning, we had some quiet time this afternoon and played with Ella's new toys while Jeremy napped. Then we headed out to the popsicle party at the elementary school to meet Ella's kindergarten teacher. I can't believe that in one week I'll have a kindergartner!! I'm excited for her to start school because I think she's going to have some awesome experiences and I love to watch her learn and grow, but it's bittersweet because my sphere of influence will shrink while the world's influence expands. She seems so small to be away so much, and I truly hope that I have taught her well so that she will make good choices.

In honor of my birthday girl today, I want to share some noteworthy things about her. I don't do that nearly as often as I should, and now is a good opportunity. Here goes, in bullet form:

She is starting to wonder more about how the world works and what everything means. She peppers me with questions all day long. A few of my recent favorites are "What color are doggies owies?"and "What does what mean?"
She has also turned into quite an artist. It seems like she scribbles all day long, and I think she's quite good at it (though I may be biased).
In the last few weeks she has taken an interest in reading and can sound out short words on her own, as well as write them herself.
She has a very keen sense of right and wrong. She is very much into following the rules, and while she is a bit rigid at times--she tries to put ideas and situations into neat little boxes and wants everything to be black and white--I am grateful for this because I'm hoping it will help her make right decisions.

Here's to my birthday girl. I love her.

Was I dreaming, or did that really happen?

2009-07-16T08:00:00.000-06:00

I spent last weekend down south in Colorado Springs for a writing retreat with the Rocky Mountain Chapter of the SCBWI. It was an amazing weekend. I went with a bit of apprehension, not knowing anyone and not sure what to expect, and found a group of 25 exceptional people who are all incredibly supportive, kind, and talented to boot. Add that to 48 hours straight to focus entirely on writing (sans children), and I'm so glad I went.

We divided our time between talks by the retreat facilitator, Nora Cohen and within our own writing groups that we formed for the weekend, with a little bit of free time to write sprinkled in. My group consisted of three women (aside from myself) who are all much more experienced in the writing field than I, and who were incredibly enthusiastic about my current book project. Their supportive suggestions were invaluable in helping me find the confidence and inspiration I've been needing to continue with my work. Who knows if it will ever get published, but I'm having fun and learning a lot.

Jason held down the fort so nicely while I was gone--the house was clean when I got home and the kids happy. Coming back to the real world on Monday was a bit of an adjustment, and today it almost feels like the weekend was just a dream I had--it came and went so quickly. Luckily I've got several new friends and the possibility of a few critique groups to look forward to.

Art class

2009-07-15T15:37:00.001-06:00

Ella spends a large chunk of time drawing. I can almost hear the trees screaming with all the paper she's used, but it's something she has picked up with no encouragement from anyone. I think that is a sure sign that it's something she just loves to do. So I signed her up for a preschool drawing class. Yesterday was her first day. They drew a barn and silo with a pig. I thought her picture was the best (though I may be a bit biased...). Here it is, mostly for the benefit of grandma and grandpa:

Summer fun

2009-07-14T15:11:00.006-06:00

One of my goals at the beginning of the summer was to just enjoy the summer and enjoy having Ella all to myself for a little while longer before she starts school in the fall. I think we've been pretty successful at this--we've had a great time! Ella took swimming lessons for two sessions, we've gone to parks and played with friends. The school district in town offers free lunches for kids 18 and under, and we've frequented that regularly, mostly to get Ella accustomed to the idea of eating in a cafeteria with other kids (though I plan on packing her a lunch).

Ella got a free pass to Lakeside Amusement Park through our library's summer reading program, so we took the kids over the July 4th weekend. The park has been around since 1908, and although that showed a bit in the upkeep, it was worth it, especially since it was free! The kids had a great time, as the park has a kiddie-land dedicated to kids 8 and under. Ella's favorites rides were the ferris wheel and the kiddie roller coaster. I think she went on both about three or four times each.

Here she is on the ferris wheel.

Jeremy was still a little small to go on most of the rides. Although they only have height requirements on the roller coaster and the ferris wheel, their restraint devices were such that we didn't trust our busy almost two-year-old to stay seated during the rides, so he had to sit most of them out. He did go on one ride that looked fairly secure, and he loved it! I know the picture below is a bit fuzzy, but I had to include it to illustrate the glee on his face--so adorable!

I think next summer he'll be the perfect age to enjoy most of the other rides with Ella. (And he'll be old enough for the summer reading program, so he'll be free, too!)

I didn't get very many good pictures of the kiddie roller coaster. I was scared to let Ella try it (being the wuss that I am with roller coasters in general) but she really wanted to go, so I sent Jason to take her while I hid on the other side of the park with Jeremy. She must take after her dad, because she loved it!

After that we went home and threw some steak on the grill--perfect way to end a fun summer day!

Nature's Bounty

2009-06-12T14:03:00.006-06:00

At the farmer's market in town on Mother's Day weekend, I bought a lovely fuchsia for $20, which I thought was a great deal because usually hanging baskets like these run about twice that, if not more depending on where you get them. We hung it on our front porch since these plants prefer shade and it has flourished and blossomed prolifically ever since.

I was even more delighted to discover that a bird has made its nest in the plant, and just the other day I heard some quiet chirps from above. I broke out the ladder and found some brand new baby birds.

I quickly found Ella and had her climb up the ladder with me, and she was absolutely transfixed. I've never seen her as enthralled and awed by anything in the (almost) five years since she was born. She hardly made a peep and just gazed at the birds almost reverently. One of the birds was opening its mouth rooting for food, and I explained to Ella that the mother would come back and feed it worms, so we should get down so the mother wouldn't be afraid to come back to the nest. After we got down, she asked what the birds' names were, and I told her she could name them if she wanted. The one that was rooting is named Jesse, and the other two are June and Pyrol, Jr. (pronounced pie-roll). Don't ask me where she got the idea for the last one, but it amused me. For the rest of the evening and most of today she's talked about little else besides the birds, and she even got out of bed two times last night to ask me if I thought Jesse was alright. I sure hope all the birds make it, because I think I'd have a crushed little girl on my hands if anything happened to any of them! Here is the picture she drew of Jesse:

This last picture is mainly for my parent's benefit. They brought me a miniature rose bush last summer that wasn't making it too well in the pot. I haphazardly threw it in my flower garden thinking that it probably wouldn't last the summer, let alone come back for another year. Was I ever wrong! It has grown into the prettiest little bush and is one of my favorites. Its size is perfect for the little growing space I have.

In regards to my somewhat cryptic previous post, some people have expressed confusion at the Hugh Jackman reference. I suppose it's not entirely unexpected since X-Men Origins: Wolverine is in theatres right now (which I have not yet had the pleasure of viewing). It was actually a reference to the first X-Men movie--you know, the truck he drove up north that he crashed while he was driving with Rogue? Yeah, I know I'm a nerd. Anyway, we had the pleasure of driving a truck that reminded us of that when our own car broke down and there wasn't any rental car company open on a Saturday afternoon in Heber City, UT. The trip was awful, frankly, and I was never so happy to be home as I was when we finally rolled in here at 11:00 p.m. Monday night. It'll be a while before we do that again!

A teaser--just for you, Alyssa!

2009-06-10T15:28:00.008-06:00

I've been awful about blogging lately. I know that. I also know that I have probably lost the majority of my readers. I apologize. I just don't know how to juggle everything. Now that my parents are farther away than they've ever been from my children, I thought I would get back into it, but as the days pass by quickly, the list of things to blog about grows and I feel overwhelmed. I don't know how much I will catch up on what we've been doing the last 3 months, but it includes soccer for Ella, walking and talking for Jeremy, the beginning of a novel for me, 30 pounds lost between Jason and I, running a full mile for the first time ever in my life, and this:

Yes, this bad boy was a part of the trip from h@#$ we took last weekend. Too bad it didn't include Hugh Jackman sporting a mutton-chops, washboard abs, and steel claws.

Is it worth it?

2009-02-25T20:48:00.004-07:00

I've been reading this really cool book recently called The Wand in the Word: Conversations with Writers of Fantasy. It is a compilation of interviews of 13 well-known and successful fantasy writers about their writing process and life. I love reading about how people write and the process they go through to produce a novel. My google reader is, in fact, chock full of writer's blogs! I hope you can forgive me a post about something that is utterly fascinating to me. I realize it might not be so for everyone else.

One thing that has particularly interestred me is how diverse the writing processes are amongst different authors. Some writers, Lloyd Alexander for example, depend upon meticulous outlines before the actual writing begins. Some have a general idea of the beginning, middle and end. Others "jump in with both feet and kind of swim around in what at first is a very dark sea," as Franny Billingsley so aptly described. It is heartening to know there are so many right ways to do the same thing.

The book's first interview is with Lloyd Alexander. Did you know he held down a day job while writing most of his books? He got up at 4:00 in the morning to get his writing in before leaving for work--there's dedication for you! At first I thought "That's crazy!" But the idea has slowly germinated in my thoughts over the past week. I've wanted to write seriously for quite a long time, but I have used the excuse (sadly) that I can't find time. That's really a cop-out, though, isn't it? I have a day job too (though I don't get paid for it) but what's keeping me from getting up at four in the morning to write? It all boils down to discipline and priorities and how much it means to me. Mr. Alexander put it well when he said, "And so the question...for anybody who wants to be a musician or artist or writer--is, Is it worth it?" (His answer is yes by the way.) For myself, I'm still deciding if the costs outweigh the benefits, but I'd like to get to the point where I can say with conviction that it's worth it to me, too.

A mixed weekend

2009-02-09T14:06:00.004-07:00

This weekend was a pretty busy one, filled with good things and not so good things.

Taking Jeremy to the ER at midnight on Friday = not so good

Finding out that his 104 degree fever was only caused by an ear infection = could be worse, right? Poor kid was pretty sick most of the weekend, though.

$200 ER bill = bad

Me getting sick with a cold that gave Jeremy his ear infection = huge suckage

Singing with my group at the Stake RS Women's conference to a song written by an amazing musician in our group and doing well at it = awesome!

Having a mini-reunion with the girls I went to high school with = wonderful and so much fun.

Here's a picture. I think we're all still pretty smokin' even after 10 years.

It was fun to catch up with everyone. They are all amazing women.

I know this post is all over the place, so here's another random thought to throw into the mix. I've been thinking a lot lately about utilizing my time and all the things I need to do, want to do, and have to do, and trying to figure out how to balance them all. I'm starting to realize that there isn't such a thing as balance in this stage of my life. My time will probably be taken up mostly with kids and family and church callings, with a few (and I'm lucky if it is a few and not just one) things left on the side. So I've been pondering my blog, trying to decide if it's really worth it to continue posting. I love to blog and read other people's blogs. But there are a million posts I've composed in my head that have just never made it on here due to lack of time, and that makes frustrates me. So I'm trying to decide if something that adds to my frustration level is really worth it. I have also been pondering the idea of choosing between blogging and facebook. Both are addicting and have the potential to be huge time-suckers if I let them, but am not sure I'm ready to take such giant steps. I'm still in the pondering stage. What do you do to "balance" your time?

Lady Killer

2009-01-26T13:14:00.005-07:00

For the past month or so, people have kept asking me if Jeremy is a boy or a girl. It kind of perplexed me because I never dress him in anything that is remotely feminine. Finally it dawned on me that his hair is the culprit.

As you can see, it's hanging in his eyes. Time for a hair cut, I guess.

I'm sure going to miss those little baby curls he has in the back. Ella had them, too, but they never came back after the first cut. I don't know why, but the first hair cut kind of makes me sad.

We set up salon in his high chair, let him play a little with the hair trimmer while it was on, and in true Jeremy fashion, he enjoyed himself immensely.

Seriously, not a word of complaint from him. I'm thankful to his dad for those laid back genes, because they sure didn't come from me.

I love how it's spikey when it's wet. It calms down when it dries, though.

I'll still miss the baby curls, but I think he's gonna be a lady killer.

100 Things

2009-01-21T14:20:00.003-07:00

I've been a bit uninspired with blogging lately, so I thought I'd swipe this idea from a couple of friend's blogs. Each of them, who are totally unrelated and don't even know each other, posted this tag within 24 hours of each other, so I decided to jump on the bandwagon, too. The ones in red are the things I've done. Kinda fun! Feel free to try it on your blog!

1. Started my own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than I can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
10. Sung a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched lightening at sea
14. Taught myself art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown my own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught myself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had my portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had my picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Rode an elephant

Something I never imagined I'd say:

2009-01-10T09:00:00.003-07:00

"Please don't spit water out of your mouth to clean your chair."

It was hard to keep a straight face.

2009-01-09T08:41:00.004-07:00

Did you know that it's National De-Lurking Week? Yeah, neither did I until I read about it on a bunch of blogs I lurk on! Ha! Seriously though, does anybody have any blogs they lurk on? I don't lurk to be creepy--if it's someone's personal or family blog I generally don't lurk--I try to make my presence known at least once. I do lurk on a lot of book blogs and cooking blogs. I don't really think that's very creepy because it's not usually like people post personal information. A lot of times I don't comment because I have nothing intelligent or witty to add to the conversation. That's kind of how I am in person anyway, at least in large groups, which I consider the internet and blogosphere to be--one big party! And at parties I usually prefer to find a quiet corner and listen to what everybody else has to say and watch what they're doing. It can be entertaining.

Okay, so maybe I am creepy?

But the real point to this whole post is that if you lurk on my blog, since it's of a personal nature, you're creepy, and you should leave me a comment!

Okay, kidding. I don't think you're creepy. And I can say that because I know my blog doesn't get enough traffic to actually have any lurkers, nor do I write regularly enough to actually be interesting enough. You have to admit, there is a certain glamour in having a lurker, isn't there?

Before the end of this week, I will try to leave a comment on at least one blog that I never have before. I know, risky.

Too much time on my hands?

2008-12-29T12:45:00.011-07:00

I've never been one to fuss much over my looks (aside a momentary lapse in judgment that involved a black bag with pink straps and visions of pink Cadillacs dancing through my head) preferring instead the au natural look. Not because I'm a natural beauty or anything (I'm not) but because my interests generally lie elsewhere. Especially after having kids, with free time sparse and finite, I'd rather spend a invaluable half hour to myself reading or writing than I would taking a shower and doing my hair or makeup. Not to say that I particularly enjoy taking a nice warm shower with two kids banging and yelling outside the door, but I prefer that to the same behavior when I'm reading.

Needless to say, I don't have a lot of experience in the world of beauty and fashion. My one foray into coloring my hair happened in high school. My best friend and I decided we'd take a chance and dye our hair. We headed over to the local Wal-Mart and poured over shades of red, blond and brunette for a good 45 minutes before each choosing one for ourselves. Back to her house for a little DIY action, and two hours later we were new women. Well, at least we thought so. I can't remember which one of us finally had the courage to tell the other one first that their hair was exactly the same color as before we started. Probably her, because I'm a chicken. We'd both inadvertently chosen dye that was the same as our natural color. We laughed about that one for a while.

Anyway, that is my limited experience with dying my hair. Until this morning that is. See, Jason has the week off work, and I'm enjoying a little more free time than usual. So I spent the morning at the hair salon getting blond highlights. Did I waste my precious free time? What do you think?

Since I had it done professionally this time, I hope you can tell which one is the before and which is the after, or I want my money (and my time) back. I'm still deciding what I think. After 29 years of the same color, it looks a little weird to me. I feel...frosted. I'm wondering if I should have gone more with the red. Can you even get red highlights? See, that's how clueless I am about the whole fashion and beauty thing, and I was too embarrassed to admit to the stylist that I had no idea what I was doing. I hope it's not too...um...trashy looking? Well, if it is, they probably still have my natural color at the local Wal-Mart.

Wow. For someone supposedly not too much into my looks, I think I just spent way too long discussing them. I better go find something to read, quick!

Hungry for More

2008-12-27T20:20:00.004-07:00

It's been a long time since I've read a book that has drawn me in as much as this one did. I read it in two days, staying up way too late reading into the wee hours during the night in between. Housework and kids were neglected much more than was decent.

Katniss is a 16-year-old who lives in a world where 12 districts are ruled by the Capitol, a hedonistic and self-serving nation who annually force the twelve districts it rules to send two tributes each--one boy and one girl--to The Hunger Games, a sadistic reality-type show of the future televised for the entertainment of the Capitol and the intimidation of the districts. The contestants from each district are forced to fight to the death--to kill or be killed. The last one standing is the victor. Katniss volunteers to go for her district in the place of her younger sister, who was chosen against all odds.

I had heard or read about this book on various blogs or websites for a several months (all of them singing its praises, I might add) but didn't pick it up because I was worried it would be more violence than I could take. I will admit that the story is not for the faint of heart, but I didn't feel like the violence was gratuitous or that Suzanne Collins lingered too much on gory details. In fact, I was very impressed with Collins' ability to tastefully tell the story. It was at once riveting, heartbreaking and philosophical. I sympathized with Katniss throughout the book, and the plot twists kept me guessing to the very end--right up to the last page when I finally realized this book is only the beginning of what I believe will be a trilogy. It looks like I've got another series to eagerly await the release of each new installment.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-22T13:46:00.003-07:00

Did you ever find a recipe that was so good you had to blog about it? Okay, so maybe I'm the only one, but I just finished making this recipe for Peanut Butter Fudge and it was so good. So. Good. Like, cross your eyes good. And the best part? It took me 10 minutes (not counting the cooling time, which I don't count because it doesn't require effort).

If you're a fan of peanut butter, you have to try it. Here's my Christmas present to all my loyal readers. Enjoy!

Happy Birthday Jeremy

2008-11-25T21:15:00.012-07:00

It honestly doesn't feel like it's been a year (and a couple of weeks) since Jeremy was born. But we celebrated his birthday Nov. 21st anyway, because whether I can believe it or not, it really has been a year.

Grandma and Grandpa came over to join us for the big day, and we celebrated with pizza and cupcakes. It was low key but a lot of fun.

Ella helped me decorate some froggie cupcakes for the big celebration. I thought they turned out pretty cute.

Here's the birthday boy trying out his new toy from Grandma and Grandpa. He thought it would be more fun push it from his knees instead of his feet. He'll figure it out one of these days. I'm actually really okay with the fact that he's not walking yet. Take your time, buddy!

Here he is in the buff. What a cutie. Actually, we were getting ready for cupcakes at this point, and I figured shirtless was the best way to go.

I think he enjoyed his first dose of sugar. Pictures are worth a thousand words in this case!

I could be wrong, but he might actually be more interested in the candle than the cupcake at this point.

First taste...

Delicious!!

At some point he got tired of using his hands and was trying this method, instead. It didn't work so well.

I think he liked it! :)

Looking back over this last year, I regret not posting more about Jeremy's progress. Kids change so much at this age and I feel like I've already forgotten so much of how he was even six months ago. So here are some little tidbits about him so I won't forget in another six months.

He is crawling, pulling up, cruising around on furniture and climbing up stairs. I can imagine it won't be long before he goes bipedal. The gate by our stairs that Jason installed a few weeks ago has been a lifesaver.
He loves the dishwasher, the DVD shelf, the bookshelf, the computer, the DVD player, the houseplants, and anything else that is off-limits, and frequently makes a mess of them.
He is a pretty good sleeper, but not as consistent as Ella was. He still wakes up once a night every couple of nights or so, with no apparent reason. Usually a pat on the back or a sip of water does the trick to get him to back to sleep. But he does take a two hour (sometimes longer) nap a day, so I'm not complaining.
His first word was Ella. He also likes to drop things off his high chair and say "uh-oh."
Jason jokes with me that we should have named him Jeremiah, because I call him that frequently. Who says you can't lengthen a name instead of shorten it for a nickname?
Another commonly used nickname for him is Stinker because when he knows he's doing something he shouldn't and sees me coming for him, he gets this mischievous little grin on his face and crawls faster toward his object of desire. It's cute and exasperating.
He shows affection for things by nuzzling it with his mouth (while it's open). It's cute...and a little slobbery.
He makes me laugh every day. He's seriously a funny kid with some quirky traits, and just a generally happy, smiley person. I love it!!

I'm so glad to have Jeremy in our home. His cheerful and laid back personality have been a wonderful addition to our family and a blessing in our home. It's hard to remember what life was like before he joined us. Here's to many more great years with him!

A New Haircut

2008-11-18T15:37:00.005-07:00

Can you believe that on this day, November 18th it is 71 degrees outside here in Colorado? Ugh. I was going to write a long, windy (I mean witty) post about how much I really hate hot weather and am ready for the winter already. But I have accepted the fact that I am pretty much an anomaly, and that it's best to keep my opinions to myself on this matter, so I'll just post a picture of Ella's new haircut. We both decided it was time for a change, and I thought it turned out really cute!

Anyway, happy freakin' SUMMER everyone. I'm trying not to let the weather get me down too much, but I wish it would just SNOW already!

A tag

2008-10-27T12:31:00.003-06:00

My friend Jean tagged me a while ago, and I forgot about it until now. I'm supposed to name six quirks about yourself. Thanks for tagging me, Jean! Here goes!

1. I am an introvert. Not an I-don't-like-people introvert, though. The kind that gets energy from solitude instead of companionship. So I like being around people, but if I spend too much of the day talking and socializing, I'm exhausted by the end. I have to schedule alone time every day, or I start fraying at the edges.

2. I love to go on walks at night when everybody's houses are lit up. I love to wonder what the people are doing inside. I was called a stalker for this by a friend in college once. Hey, I keep to the sidewalk... It's just nice to wonder.

3. I often feel really clueless, like everybody knows some secret to life that I don't. Paranoid? Yeah, maybe a little.

4. I can stand on the knuckles of my feet with my toes pointed backward. I've been told it's pretty gross.

5. I'm a list maker.

6. I love all things John Denver. (Except maybe that movie he did with the muppets--you should've stuck to singing, Johnny.) I know this doesn't add to my coolness factor, but I don't care. I even almost pledged like $100 to PBS just to get a DVD of his songs, but my husband found it on ebay for only $20. I (don't) heart public television.

So what have we learned from all this? I'm a stalking, introverted, paranoid knuckle-walker who makes lists and listens shamelessly to John Denver. I hope we're all feeling enlightened now.

Okay, so I hate doing the tagging part, because I don't want anyone to feel left out or obligated to do something they don't want to. Plus I don't know who has done this tag. So if you haven't done the tag and you want to, I'm tagging you.

In case there was any question before...

2008-10-23T19:43:00.002-06:00

...I am now 100% positive that I have a boy. In the last week, Jeremy has managed to not only locate the DVD player in three different houses, but also figure out how to turn each of them on and open the DVD tray, has unrolled at least 12 rolls of toilet paper, and burned his hand on a fireplace only to go back for more. I swear, the fascination with buttons, flashing lights, and risk-taking must be hardwired into the male brain. (Have I mentioned the bruise on Jason's thigh 8 inches in diamater from a paintball excursion last weekend?) Here's the thing. I knew the whole little boy behavior was coming, but I didn't expect it for at least another six months...on the short side. He's not even a year old for pete's sake!! He sure is a cutie, though.

Not to be outdone, Ella is asserting her female tendencies by raiding my makeup bag:

I laughed til I cried...

2008-10-10T15:01:00.002-06:00

The FIX IT part is the funniest. I almost peed my pants. Sorry about the last part that is a little too profane for me--I couldn't figure out how to only post the fix it part.

Going retro

2008-09-22T13:18:00.009-06:00

I don't hate bugs. I just hate they way the make me feel. Which is scared. I'm okay with some bugs. Like ladybugs are cute, and small, so they don't freak me out. And same with houseflies, except for the cute part. They are just annoying and dirty, but they don't scare me. And I can pretend for a while that butterflies are kind of like little birds, plus, I think it's cool that they have their own little built in straw. (In fact, I wouldn't mind one of those myself--diet coke, here I come!!) But when I see their underside, I kind of shudder a little. Because here's what bugs me (no pun intended) about bugs. They are creepy and crawly--they have way too many legs for my taste. Anything more than four is too many. So this includes spiders, too, even though I know technically they're not insects. Whatever. I just know those extra legs contribute to their ability to be so quiet that they just sneak up on you and make you jump. Yuck. So you can imagine my absolute trepidation when, as I was blithely walking into the laundry room to start a load, I saw this:

Now, this isn't the actual bug I saw. No, I didn't have the presence of mind to take a picture at that moment. But it looks exactly the same with those beady little eyes and all those legs. So I panicked a little. What do I do? Because there's actually something that scares me even more than bugs. And that's killing bugs. Sometimes you can hear them crunch, which is totally gross, but mostly I can hear their little screams. And then I wonder if bugs have a heaven, and if they do, am I now a bug murderer? Is God going to send me to hell for killing his little bugs? Plus, I kind of worry that if I kill one bug, all of their bug friends are going to come after me for revenge. Don't worry if you're laughing right now. I know it's funny in an insane kind of way. I have a vivid imagination. So I go to great lengths to not kill them. Like last week, Ella saw a big spider on the wall, which freaked us both out. So I ran for the broom. To smash it you say? No, no, no. To spend 15 minutes coaxing it onto the broom so I could take it outside. And then this morning, there was a spider in our car. (This is the one thing I hate about fall--all the bugs migrate inside.) So I went inside to grab the fly swatter. That sounds pretty reasonable, right? Well, I didn't actually use the fly swatter to swat the spider. Instead, I used it like a pancake turner, and I scooped up the piece of paper the spider was on, threw the whole thing on the garage floor, got back in the car and drove away, tires screeching and engine roaring. (Okay, just kidding about the last part, but it makes a cool story, right?)

Anyway, back to the green bug story. How did I avoid not killing the green bug? Well, I was too scared to coax it onto a broom, because it was just so huge! So I called my wonderful superman of a husband to come home on his lunch break and get rid of it for me. You can stop laughing now, because I'm not joking. I know, it was very 1950's of me, wasn't it? And being the amazing husband he is, he came home. But I still kind of felt bad, because despite my protests, he killed it. (Wouldn't want him to go to hell, either, now, would I?) He probably figured if he didn't, it would get in again somehow, and he'd have to deal with taking care of it again. So I've decided I need a net. You know, like the kind with the really long handle that the boy uses in the Cat and the Hat to catch the Things. And then I'd add some sort of device where I could pull the net closed so the bug won't get out, and then I can take it outside. That way I save my soul and I don't make any sworn bug enemies.

If you're wondering what to get me for Christmas, that would be perfect.

Update

2008-09-11T09:27:00.003-06:00

I haven't had a lot of time to post lately, nor the inclination. (I know...gasp!) For some reason I have been stuck in a blogger rut, feeling generally uninspired. I have nothing witty to say, and so I have just posted recipes. Recipe posts are so much more cut-and-dried, thus easier to write. But there has been a lot going on with us lately (even aside from starting school and all that fall busy-ness), so I thought I'd break down and do the boring update. If nothing else, it's good journaling, right? And to make this easier for everyone, I'm going to use the bullet form.

*Ella is finally, finally potty trained. All the way. I think. This is a fairly new development, so I'm not sure we're completely out of the water, but we've made some giant steps forward. It has been a long road. I think we tried for the very first time in January of 2006. Looking back, I can't help but wonder, what was I thinking starting an eighteen-month-old potty training? Oh yeah, now I remember. It was at the doctor's direction, and of course, doctor's are always right! (Har, har...I have learned a lot since then, but that's another post for another time.) Anyway, potty-training has definitely been a lesson in humility for me. These are the times that remind me why Ella is my daughter: because I have so much to learn and am unfailingly inadequate. I'm glad for the lessons, painful though they may be, and the atonement, for the lessons still unlearned.

*Jeremy is weaned! Okay, I know there are a lot of you out there who might cry at this milestone, but I am not that type. I am cheering. I feel like a real person again. And the best part about it: there were not tears on either side. He decided to do it on his own. I'm grateful for this, because I've observed some people having issues with weaning their child. I was worried he would be that type, since breastfeeding had always gone so well with him. Apparently not. Thus far my children have been the more active type, preferring not to sit still for more than a nanosecond. He is much happier holding his own bottle and rolling around on the floor while doing it.

*And another milestone that I think is a direct cause of the weaning: He's sleeping through the night! WAHOO!! Along with Ella's potty-training, this is fairly new, so I'm aware that there may be a few more bumps in store. But I'm happy to take what I can get, namely the last three nights where he's slept from 10:00 p.m. to 6:30 a.m. Did I mention yet that I'm feeling more and more like a real person?!

*Okay, enough with the kids. Onto me. I got a new calling. Again. So yeah, that's three callings in about three months, but hey, who's counting? Last Sunday I was released as YW Secretary and called as 1st counselor in the Primary Presidency. Yeah, I'm laughing too. I was really surprised. I have a feeling Heavenly Father has a few more lessons he wants me to learn, namely patience and charity. And funny how working with kids forces those along, doesn't it? But I have to admit, I'm really excited to be with Ella in Primary and see what she's learning about. It's also interesting to observe her behavior. She behaves very well, but I can tell that sharing time is a bit overwhelming to her. I'm starting to understand now why she's so incredibly volatile and grumpy after church. I can't blame the kid, I'm not one much for crowds myself.

Okay, I'm off to have a cookie. I think I've bored you enough for one day with the mundane details of my life. Thanks for reading! Ciao!

Cilantro Pesto

2008-09-03T21:53:00.003-06:00

Lots of cooking posts, lately, folks. Hopefully you don't mind. I have been cooking up a storm this summer, after all.

A friend of mine asked me today to post my cilantro pesto recipe. My sister also expressed some interest when I visited her last weekend, so I will do my best here. I have a tendency to fudge, experiment, and generally make things up as I go along in the kitchen, so hopefully I will be able to reproduce the recipe satisfactorily.

I've experimented with lots of pestos this summer. And while I've liked all of them, cilantro is among my favorite, because I really like the brightness of its flavors--it makes other pestos seem mundane and almost dull to me. But if you're not a cilantro fan, it might not be for you. A CSA newsletter I received at the beginning of the summer said that some people lack a specific digestive enzyme which actually makes cilantro taste like soap to them. Now I understand the total hot/cold debate over cilantro--it seems like you either love it or hate it. So try the recipe...or not.

Cilantro Pesto

1-2 large bunches cilantro, large stems removed
1/2 bunch parsley
1/3 cup pine nuts (I've also heard walnuts are great in pesto, though I've never tried it)
4 cloves garlic
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
juice of one lemon
salt and pepper to taste
about 1/4 to 1/3 cup olive oil--enough to make it the right pasty consistency, which is really (in my opinion) a matter of personal preference

In a food processor or blender, finely chop herbs. Add pine nuts, garlic cloves, lemon juice, salt and pepper. Puree until ingredients are coarsely ground. With food processor running, stream in olive oil until pesto reaches preferred consistency. (I like mine to be a little bit on the pasty side, though as I said, it's really up to you.)

There you have it! And as an added bonus, here's my absolute favorite way to eat pesto:

Saute cubed chicken in a little olive oil. When it is almost cooked through add grated summer squash (my secret ingredient that the family never even knows is in there!) and stir for a minute or two. Then add the pesto and cook for another minute or so. I find that cooking the pesto really helps tame down the garlic, which has a much sweeter flavor after cooking than when it is raw, but if you like the taste of raw garlic, you can skip this step. Add the chicken mixture to some hot, cooked pasta, stir in two diced tomatoes and about 1/4 - 1/2 cup reserved pasta water. Then throw in a couple handfuls grated mozzarella cheese, and mix it till the cheese gets all gooey and stringy. Oh, my favorite!! Makes me hungry just thinking about it!

*update: I realized I forgot to put when to add the parmesan. Sorry! I usually just stir it in to the pesto at the end after I've added the olive oil.

Baked veggie burgers

2008-08-18T07:30:00.000-06:00

It's been a while since I've done a cooking post. I have actually been cooking a lot this summer, due largely in part to the CSA I joined at the beginning of the summer, but also to the food processor Jason got me for our anniversary. (I know not everyone considers kitchen appliances to be that romantic, but I assure you, he had my heart fluttering when I opened it--I love it and use it pretty much every day.)

Anyway, with all the fresh produce we've been getting in our CSA box, some of which is new to me, I've been experimenting with all sorts of things. Different pestos: traditional basil pesto, spinach pesto, and even cilantro pesto (my personal favorite). I've made Caldo Verde, which is a traditional Portuguese soup with kale and potatoes--very delicious--lots of salads, and I've discovered that I adore beets. I hated them as a kid, but now I can't get enough of their sweet, crispy taste, and lovely deep purple color. Which leads me to the recipe that I'm dying to rave about in this post: Baked Beet and Carrot Burgers. I got the recipe from a seasonal cookbook I bought, Farmer John's Cookbook, but it also happened to be featured in my weekly CSA newsletter. When I first saw the recipe I knew I had to try it. It spoke to my formerly vegetarian self, after all. And, oh, it was yummy!! I'd trade them for regular burgers any day. I couldn't get enough of the nutty, crispy, tangy, sweet taste. I have to admit that they were a bit time consuming to make--thank goodness for the food processor, which I used to grate a lot of the ingredients! But the recipe does make twelve patties, which is four meals for our family, so I froze the rest of the patties for three future meals. Not bad for 1 1/2 hours worth of work, in my opinion.

Anyway, here's the recipe, adapted slightly from the original. We just had them on whole wheat buns with mayo and tomatoes and lettuce. Divine!

Baked Beet-and-Carrot Burgers with Brown Rice, Sunflower Seeds, and Cheddar Cheese

butter for greasing the baking sheet
1/2 cup sesame seeds
1 cup sunflower seeds
2 cups peeled, grated beets (1-2 medium beets)
2 cups grated carrots (about 4 carrots)
1/2 cup minced onion (about 1 medium onion)
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1 cup cooked brown rice
1 cup grated Cheddar cheese
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup finely chopped fresh parsley
3 tablespoons flour
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 clove garlic, minced or pressed (about 1/2 teaspoon)

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Lightly coat a baking sheet with butter. Place a small, heavy skillet over medium heat. Add the sesame seeds and stir them on the dry skillet just until lightly browned and fragrant, 3 to 5 minutes, watching closely to avoid burning them. Immediately remove from heat and transfer the toasted seeds to a dish to cool. Return the skillet to the heat. Add the sunflower seeds and stir them on the dry skillet just until lightly browned and fragrant, 3 to 5 minutes, watching closely to avoid burning them. Immediately transfer them to the dish with the sesame seeds. Combine the beets, carrots, and onion in a large bowl. Stir in the toasted sunflower and sesame seeds, eggs, rice, Cheddar cheese, oil, flour, parsley, soy sauce or tamari, and garlic (your hands work best here). Using your hands, shape the mixture into 12 patties and arrange them in rows on the baking sheet. Bake the patties until brown around the edges, about 20 minutes. Unless they are very large and thick, it should not be necessary to turn them. Serve alone or on buns.

Photo shoot

2008-08-16T07:43:00.003-06:00

My wonderful friend Angie, who happens to be a fabulously talented photographer, met Ella and Jeremy and I at the park the other evening for a photo shoot. Angie does weddings, senior portraits, babies, and I think most anything else. I really love her work with its vibrant colors and creative poses. I wanted to get some portraits of the kids that weren't the ordinary, run-of-the-mill, boring studio set-ups with the canned poses and all that. She did not disappoint! I LOVE what resulted. Here are some of my favorites, though you can check out more of the kids and more of Angie's wonderful photography at angiewilsonphotography.blogspot.com.

Ella's Birthday

2008-08-12T20:06:00.007-06:00

Yesterday was Ella's fourth Birthday. I can't believe it I have a four year old! Grandpa got some great pictures of our fun day. My parents were such great helpers in getting things ready for the party--it would not have happened without them! (Or at least as smoothly.) Thanks you two!

We had a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme for her party. She loves that show on Playhouse Disney. I must say I'm kind of proud of this cake--it turned out pretty good! I guess all those years working at Baskin Robbins in High School paid off.

In case you aren't familiar with the show, this is Mickey's clubhouse. I got the template off the Playhouse Disney website. (I'm not that good!)

We had the party at her favorite park. She calls it the Clubhouse park, because she likes to pretend that the play structure is Mickey's clubhouse. I thought it would be a fitting location for the party. She had a great time playing in the playground and barely touched her pizza.

But of course there's always room for cake! I love this picture of her and Jeremy. He's kind of looking at her like, "Hey, where's mine?" Soon enough, little man! My dad was kind enough to make the party hats they are wearing. (Again, a template from the Playhouse Disney website.) I think they turned out great.

She was so happy to finally get the Mickey Mouse balloon she's been pining over for months. She saw it every time we went into Safeway, and was very careful in reminding me every time that she wanted it for her birthday.

You know, the whole day I kept thinking about how the simplest things seem to make her the happiest. Like the balloons, playing at the park, and just being with the people she loved. And of course, the simplest birthday gift ended up being her favorite. Thanks grandpa! She hasn't let it go since he gave it to her! Maybe we have a Sherlock Holmes in the works?

I'm so thankful to have Ella in my life. I have learned more from her than probably anybody else. She definitely makes me work at my job, but it's worth it.

At last, something to be excited about!

2008-08-12T19:34:00.000-06:00

I'm glad to finally have a reason to get my self-pity post off the top of my blog, and this is a good one! Remember my post a while back about the awesome blog I like to read, that occasionally gives away free stuff? Well, I won their latest drawing! Wahoo! Who can complain about free cake? I am eagerly awaiting mine! Thanks to the wonderful gals at Light Refreshments!

Poop and other exciting things

2008-07-31T07:33:00.004-06:00

I try to keep this blog pretty upbeat and entertaining. I like to find the humorous side of things, and while I struggle with being witty in speech, I think I am somewhat successful at wit in writing. (In my humble opinion...) Lately, however, I've had a hard time finding any humor in anything, and frankly, I'm too tired to try. So this post will probably be a deviation from my normal style. You're welcome to skip it. And don't worry, we'll return to our regularly scheduled programming someday, I promise. But here's a little update on what's been going on in my life recently.

First things first: poop. (My childrens', that is.) If you had told me at my high school graduation that in ten years poop would be a very intrinsic part of my life, I would have laughed in your face. Well, look who's laughing now. Ella has had issues for a while now--not going poop on the potty, being chronically constipated, and on medication for it for over a year now. Now Jeremy is too. He's struggled with constipation ever since we started him on solids at six months (he's eight now). Tuesday it got so bad as to even cause rectal prolapse (which is something really gross that I'm not going to describe here because, well, I have to draw the line somewhere. But you can google it if you want really want to know, though I wouldn't recommend it.) Just suffice it to say we were in the doctor's office Tuesday afternoon. She told me to start him on Miralax, because if we don't nip this in the bud he will need surgery. I am of course an expert on Miralax, as that's the medication Ella's been on. She also said to stop feeding him anything that would cause constipation. She used the BRAT diet as an example. It is Bananas, Rice, Apples and Toast, which is what they tell parents to give kids who have diarrhea, so logically we would try to avoid those foods in his case. She also told me to stop with the baby cereals because iron can cause constipation, and those are iron fortified cereals. And also I should stop with the vegetables. So that leaves fruit, which Jeremy, taking after his mom, doesn't seem to have an affinity for.

Which leads me to the next thing that's going on (or not as the case may be) in my life: sleep. So automatically, giving a baby less calories than he's been used to for the last two months will result in less sleep. I mean, come on, how many pureed blueberries or pears or peaches can you force down his throat when he's gagging the whole time and turning his face away from the spoon? And if by chance that baby was not doing very well in the sleep department to begin with, you have a recipe for a walking zombie of a mother. It's been eight months since I've had a good night's rest. I know that sounds like I'm whining, but let's face it, I'm too tired to care. Because I AM SO TIRED!! Heaven to me right now is my own bed and perpetual night with no interruptions for two weeks. Oh, I'm falling asleep right now just thinking about it.

Of course luck would have it that I had been planning to start supplementing Jeremy's diet with formula for one or two bottles a day because I'm getting to the point where something has to give and that felt like the only thing that I had control over to change. Until now, of course, because the doctor said that would definitely not be a good idea. A breastfed baby switched to formula would almost certainly experience constipation.

So this is just the beginning of the things that have been going on, but I'm too tired to go into the rest of it. Here's a laundry list: husband working long hours, a new and somewhat demanding church calling, concerns over Ella's schooling and general social development, colds, and two bouts of stomach flu in the family. Whine, whine, whine, I know. I'm sorry.

The funny thing is, at the doctor's office on Tuesday my doctor commented on how cool I was taking everything. "Most parents who see their kid with a rectal prolapse are freaking out--I have to give you kudos for taking this so well." Well, I guess I've become a master at looking like I have it all together, because I don't feel that way on the inside. Once when I was younger I was in a piano competition which my dad videotaped. I remember afterward watching myself playing the piece and marveling at how calm I looked, because it was definitely not the way I felt on the inside. Well, that's how I feel right now. I ended up winning the competition, so maybe that will be the case here, too. It would be a great metaphor then, wouldn't it?

Let's suffice it to say that I need a vacation, and I have two kids for sale. Anyone want to make an offer?

7 things and 7 years

2008-07-24T08:00:00.002-06:00

1) We met playing ultimate frisbee in front of the house I lived in when I was going to CU. He later told me that he was first attracted to some of my...ahem...best assets. Some things never change, though thankfully I think his list has grown since then.

2) I didn't remember that first meeting, so when he walked up to me at a party a week later and started talking to me, I was creeped out that he was stalking me. I gave him the cold shoulder until it dawned on me that he might actually be interested in me. And then I remembered that I had indeed met and had a lengthy conversation with him. I worked hard to make amends for that by being the first to ask him out. Our first date was Oct. 3 2000. We went to a Jessye Norman concert at Mackey Theater.

3) Back then, our common interests included skiing, kissing, hiking, kissing, and..oh yeah, kissing. Our interests have expanded since then, but we still like kissing. Each other, of course.

4) One of the things I loved the most about him was his ability to accept me exactly as I was, and actually liking me in spite of it. That meant a lot to me then, and it still means a lot to me now.

5) We got engaged March 3 at A-Basin. Yes, we were skiing, and yes he got down on one knee. I kinda thought he was a weirdo when he started popping off his skis in the middle of the trees we were skiing in, until I realized what was happening.

6) I didn't realize what a great sense of humor he has until after we were married. It's a good thing I like humor, or we would have been up a creek. He makes me laugh every day, and I love it.

7) We were married July 24, 2001 in the Denver, CO temple. It was the best day of my life. And it's been the best seven years of my life, bar none. I'm betting the next seven will be even better.

I love you, honey. Happy Anniversary.

6 things I have learned since we last talked

2008-07-17T08:10:00.003-06:00

1. Both the King Soopers and the Safeway near my house are not open 24 hours.

2. The Wal-Mart a bit closer to my house is open 24 hours.

3. There is a Wal-Mart greeter even at 3:00 in the morning.

4. At 3 in the morning you can find a surplus of employees to show you anything you need. (I think I'll start doing my shopping then.)

5. They don't show much surprise at you carting a baby around the store this early in the morning. Does this happen often?

6. Baby Orajel doesn't work.

Sweet nothings

2008-07-14T20:49:00.004-06:00

I'm not one of those women who handles my husband's long working hours with poise and grace. Instead I do things like eat out a lot with the kids (as opposed to fixing "wholesome" meals at home) and drown myself in lots of chocolate. Which is exactly what I was doing the other night when I noticed the little tassel thingies on the Hershey's Kisses I was consuming. Has anyone else noticed these lately? They're not first on my list of indulgences, but there were no more Rolos or Reese's Peanut Butter Cups left, and I needed chocolate and they work in a pinch. Anyway, if memory serves, when I was a kid the kisses used to say Hershey's on them, right? Well now they have all these cutesie sayings like "I miss recess," "Way to go," "Kiss someone" and "I like you." What the heck, Hershey?! But my two most favorites I think are actually quoting TV characters. I'm pretty sure they commissioned ET for the one that says "Ouch" and the Teletubbies on the one that says "Big Hug."

What exactly is the point of these new tassels? To get us to eat more chocolate?

Because it kinda worked.

Check this out!

2008-07-09T10:11:00.003-06:00

So there is a blog I check out occasionally called Light Refreshments Served. It's by a bunch of LDS women, but is not really a typical LDS blog--they tend to keep things on the lighter side from what I've observed (hence the name, I suppose) and seem to steer clear from the heavy, deep gospel topics. Those are nice sometimes, but it's also nice to have something a little more light-hearted and entertaining now and then. Anyway, they're doing a free giveaway for $150 to any Marriot hotel. Check 'em out and maybe you can win! Who couldn't use a vacation, right? I also had fun reading Bill Marriott's blog which the folks at Light Refreshments referenced on the same post. It was interesting to peruse it.

I got tagged!

2008-07-06T13:46:00.000-06:00

It's a good thing I took that personality quiz last week. Now I have an excuse for a lot of my behavior, particularly in the domestic area. For example: the dishes aren't done? Well...I am an artist (say it artiste for the full effect). I have better things to do. Dirty closet? Artist! Dirty toilet? Artist!! I don't have time for such mundane things as cleaning! I'm creating here people!

So that's all to psych you up for my very first tag by my friend Eliza. You're supposed to take pictures of the following things just as they are - no stopping to clean, straighten, or to wipe a child's nose: The kitchen sink, the fridge, the toilet, the closet, the laundry room, your favorite shoes, your favorite room, and your kiddies. No cheating!

My kitchen sink:

There are dishes in it because the dishwasher is full. Why don't you run it, you ask? Well, I did, but who has time to empty it??

The fridge:

Poor Jason. He's always asking me where things are in the fridge. It goes like this:

Him: Where are the pickles?

Me: They're in there somewhere. I think on the bottom shelf in the back.

Him: I don't see them.

Me: I know they're there. You might actually have to bend down and look, though.

Him (still standing, puzzled look):

Me: Jeez louise, I'll do it. (rummaging) See, here they are!

Him: They were on the top shelf last week, why are they on the bottom shelf this week?

Me: Because I put them on the bottom shelf.

Him: Why?

Me: I don't know. It just seemed like a good place to put them.

I love that he's so patient with me. As I often tell my mom, there is a method to my madness. The method is that I put things places, and I just happen to have a good enough memory to remember where I put them last...except for my keys...and my shoes...and my purse. I know there's probably something to be said for having a set place for things, but I'm certain that would interfere with my artistic tendencies.

The toilet:

As you can see, we're potty training. But the toilet's pretty clean. I may not be organized, but I'm actually pretty clean.

The closet:

It could be worse, right? Who color-codes their clothes anyway (just kidding, Eliza, love ya anyway!)

The laundry room:

There is the famed ironing board. I've actually used it! Twice! And why do all the rogue balloons always end up in the laundry room?

My favorite shoes:

Oh I love these shoes!! I wish I had a chance to wear them more often. I bought them without any specific outfit in mind, so I only have one that they really go with, which I can't wear because I'm still working on losing that baby weight from Jeremy...

The kiddies:

My beautiful ragamuffin. Jeremy was sleeping at the time, and I wasn't about to go in there and take a picture of him and wake him up, but here's Ella. I was excited that at the time of this picture, she was actually clothed and her mouth was clean.

I decided to pass on the favorite room, because I don't really have one yet. I'm still working on decorating. I guess my "artistic" tendencies don't extend to that realm, because I'm in the dark about that for sure. Anyway, what have we learned from all of this? I'm not a slob, I'm an artist!

Seriously, though, this has got me to thinking a little bit about my organizational skills. I know there really are people out there who don't always have dishes in their sinks, whose bookshelves are alphabetized, and whose closets are color-coordinated. And I'm sure there is a myriad of other things that they do on a daily basis that my scatter-brained mind wouldn't even fathom. I sincerely commend them for that. But honestly, I just have no idea how they do it! I really believe there is an organization gene, and I don't have it! I wish I did, and I really do work on keeping my house organized, it just seems like once I get to one area, there are two others that need attention. Anyway, I'm just going to tag anyone who reads my blog and thinks this would be a fun exercise. Happy shooting!

Breakfast

2008-07-03T11:35:00.003-06:00

I am currently working on a post that will enthrall your mind and captivate your senses, but in the meantime, you can help me out. (Because of course it's all about me!) I feel like we're stuck in a rut with breakfast lately. This is somewhat due to the fact that Ella is not only the pickiest eater on the planet, but also a creature of routine. Also, I have just run out of good ideas. We pretty much rotate between two meals: eggs and toast or cold cereal. I used to do oatmeal for myself (which Ella won't touch with a ten foot pole because of it's texture) but it doesn't feel like a very summery dish. What do you eat for breakfast? Anyone have any good ideas or recipes? Please share!

Artist?

2008-06-28T11:22:00.004-06:00

Looking on other people's random blogs this morning, I found this personality test that's supposed to be like the Meyers Briggs test but probably simpler, because it's free.

So I took it (what else is there to do, after all, but spend my Saturday morning on the computer?). I am an ISFP. Which according to the test means I'm interested in the fine arts. Which is true. I mean, I have a degree in music after all. Another interesting thing is that only 8.8% of the population have this personality type. I always knew I was special. (Or weird, however you want to look at it.) So some of my career possibilities (according to the test) are pediatrician, school teacher, carpenter, veterinary technician, singer, health educator, and stay at home parent. Whew--thank goodness I qualified for that last one, because that's what I am. Also according to the test, I would NOT be a good criminal psychologist, politician, comic book artist, actor, psychoanalyst, dj, judge, entrepreneur, attorney, or professor. Something to keep in my if I ever decide to do anything else.

Now I want to know what you are! Tell me, tell me! Take the test! Then don't forget to tell me in the comments. Because wouldn't that be so fun?!

Weather Report

2008-06-26T14:43:00.006-06:00

I meant to post this earlier today, but something was up with blogger. So here it is a few hours later, though it still feels like 94 degrees outside.

So in Orange, CA right now (where I'm assuming they grow citrus fruits, per its name) it is 84 degrees with 41% humidity. Here in good old CO, it is 94 degrees and the humidity is 16%. Oh wait--it just rose to 19% because it's threatening rain. (Which most likely won't actually happen.)

So, citrus trees like humidity. And I don't think they like it very hot or very cold. So, like a temperate climate. Colorado is really dry. And it can get pretty hot, or pretty cold depending on the season. Bummer. Guess we should have thought about that before we decided to grow some citrus trees here. Maybe we should try growing cactus next summer. Yeah...that will probably work a lot better.

In other news, my flower garden is flourishing. That's because I chose plants that are drought tolerant. Yay me!

Happy Birthday Jean!

2008-06-22T20:08:00.002-06:00

So I meant to post this on Friday and things got away from me. But I thought it would be fun to embarrass one of my very best friends with a post of her very own because it was her birthday last Friday. (After all, what are birthdays for but to be embarrassed by our friends? Aside from cake...and parties...and presents, that is.)

Jean came into my life while I was still living in Boulder. We got to know each other in family housing, and our friendship grew even after my family moved to Longmont because we still carpooled together to Denver to sing in the Colorado Mormon Chorale together. Now, we live far enough apart that we can only manage the occasional day trip to see each other, so most of our friendship takes place over the phone.

Anyway, Happy (late) Birthday Jean! Here are 10 things I love about you:

1. She is always willing to talk whenever I need someone there--she is usually the first person I call when I have a question about being a mom, when I just need to vent, or when I have exciting news.
2. She always has thought-provoking things to say that get me thinking about the gospel. I always want to be a better person after talking with her.
3. I admire the huge effort she makes at providing a good environment for her family--nutritious food, stimulating activities, etc. I get some good ideas from her!
4. Even with all this great stuff she does, I never feel like she thinks she's better than me.
5. She tries so hard (and usually succeeds) at doing what's right--I admire her unflagging efforts at this when most of us just throw in the towel and call it a day.
6. I am amazed at her patience with children. She has a genuine love for them. Aside from caring for her own three, she usually always has one or two more that she watches in her home for day care. Watching other people's kids has never been an easy thing for me, so in my book, anyone that does this is a saint!
7. I admire her self-motivation in reaching her goals. It's a great example to me.
8. She is very genuine. She hardly ever puts on a front.
9. She planned and threw a shower for me when I had Jeremy, even though she lives far away and had three kids of her own to deal with.
10. She still loves me even though I didn't go to her birthday party. Sorry I had to miss it! But I hope it was great, and that you had a great birthday!

A bit of earth

2008-06-16T08:44:00.000-06:00

Our backyard is pretty plain. I might have mentioned this in previous posts, but before we bought the house, the yard didn't even have sod. All it had was dirt with a border of rocks around it. It did have a sprinkler system, so we figured the previous owner either didn't get around to putting sod down, or neglected his grass so much that he tore it out when trying to sell it. (We later learned it was the later scenario.)

One of our conditions for buying the house was that the owner put in sod. That improved it a lot, but we're still not happy about the lack of vegetation in our backyard, so I decided to try my hand at a small flower garden. Here's the before picture:

Just a bunch of boring rocks. Here's what it looked like shortly after I spent almost an entire Saturday putting in plants:

I know you can't tell a lot from the picture, but trust me, it's a definite improvement. I planted lilies, alyssum, daisies, violas, and of course my favorite herbs--parsley, cilantro, thyme, basil, lavender, sage and chives. The plants still have a lot of growing to do, but I hope they fill out and bloom and flower and make everything look pretty and colorful.

The other morning, I woke up to the first dew-covered lily of the season.

It made me happy.

I can't wait for the fall when I'm going to put in bulbs--tulips, daffodils and saffron crocus--for something to look forward to in the spring!

Leaving Neverland

2008-06-11T20:44:00.003-06:00

After 7 years of marriage, I have taken the plunge. I feel like a rite of passage has taken place. I am now a bona fide adult. I bought an iron and an ironing board. Now, I realize that ironing can be a big deal to a lot of people. I know someone, for example, who irons her kids clothes--no I don't mean teenagers, I mean her two- and four-year olds. And no, I don't mean church clothes, I mean everyday clothes. (What is the point of that? Not that I'm one to criticize if that's what twinkles her stars.) Anyway, I foresee that me going without one for this long may be appalling, or even mildly disgusting to more than one of you. Some of you will perhaps never want to be my friend again as you look back on all the times we spent together with me in my un-ironed, starchless clothing. Still others will wonder how I have possibly gotten by this long without one. It is a mystery, folks. Let's just say the old missionary trick involving a spray bottle and a clothes dryer has worked well for us.

So why the resistance for so long, you ask? Well, in the first three years of our marriage, there was simply no room for something as large as an ironing board in our 400 square foot apartment. We did own an iron, but we never used it for clothing. Its exclusive purpose was to wax our skis. Who would want to get lint in their ski wax, after all? Then, as we moved on to progressively larger abodes, the purchase just seemed to always fall neglected to the bottom of the list. I'd gotten along for this long without one, right? And I must admit, ironing has never been one of those domestic tasks that has proved absolutely necessary (like actually washing clothes, which I'd say is pretty important) or something that I particularly enjoy (like cooking). In many ways, my avoidance of the chore was a mild resistance to the growing list of domestic tasks that have slowly encroached on my free time over the years.

Well, it seems the purchase is now unavoidable as Jason is finding it increasingly necessary to wear dressier clothes to work. And because I love my husband and appreciate his efforts to provide so well for our family, I decided to take the plunge. So Monday afternoon found me cramming an ironing board into the front seat of my car in the Target parking lot. (It wouldn't fit in the trunk of our sedan.)

So there you have it. The pinnacle of my domesticity. There's nowhere else to go but down....

Right?

Lady Bug Land

2008-06-09T08:46:00.001-06:00

In preschool last year, Ella's teacher got one of these for her class. The students all had a lot of fun with it. In fact, it looked like so much fun to me, that I thought we'd try it at home. So far it's been great, and pretty low maintenance. A nice summer activity.

For some reason, metamorphosis has always fascinated me. Here are some pictures of the larvae. Can you believe these will one day be ladybugs?

Joy School Graduation

2008-06-06T11:16:00.003-06:00

A couple weeks ago, Ella had her Joy School "Graduation". Now I know this is funny on a lot of levels, because first of all, she isn't even actually graduating from preschool--she still has another year left. Also, she's three. So, you know. But I have to admit, it was dang cute. And her teacher, who is fabulous and makes Martha Stewart look like me (as in clueless about most decorating and homemaking skills--aside from cooking, that is) went to a lot of effort to make the kids feel special and enjoy their achievements. Here's a video of the kids on their big night. Of course I think Ella's the cutest, and I'm not biased at all.

Potty Training #1

2008-06-04T08:22:00.002-06:00

#1 can be applied in various ways here. #1 as in first born, #1 as in bodily function, and #1 as in I'm sure there will be more posts about this in the future.

I should also mention this post might get down and dirty. It is about potty training, after all. So if you're a little squeamish about bodily functions, feel free to quit right now. For those of you with stomachs of steel (that's all the mommies and most daddies out there) read on.

I tried the first time to potty train Ella when she was 18 months old. This was per our doctor's recommendation. Neither of us knew what we were doing and it wasn't successful, though I didn't sweat it because everyone told me that she would potty train in her own time, which I believed. I still think I made the right decision not to continue with it, even though it's almost 2 1/2 years later.

I tried several more times after this, though my brain is foggy as to when and for how long. All I know is none of those were successful in any way, until a few months ago, when she peed on the potty for the first time.

Anyway, back in April Jason and I decided we had had enough of changing poopy diapers, and I decided it was time. So I told Ella in April that when Joy School was over in May, it was time to throw away the diapers and go pee and poop in the potty. Fortunately she's developed a pretty good sense of the time since going to preschool and learning about the months and days of the week. She seemed to take the idea well and cheerfully, always a good sign. We talked about it all through the remainder of April and in May. Occasionally I'd suggest we try even though Joy School was still going on and she'd say no, it wasn't time yet.

Finally, the close of the school year drew near, and the big day arrived. With the help of this video, promises of lots of bribes, and a mom who was much more laid back about the whole thing than previous times, Ella was ready to try. That morning, she missed the potty completely two times without even trying to make it. Then in the afternoon after Jason was home from work, she just sat down one time and tried, and it happened! She peed on the potty! Since then, she has not had one pee accident. It will be two weeks this Friday. She even tells me when she needs to go potty, then runs to the bathroom and pretty much does it all by herself. The only part she needs help with is putting her clothes back on. I must say I am very proud of her. Thanks to the potty training video, she talks all the time about how she is a big kid and doesn't wear diapers anymore, which is great, as she was very reluctant to give them up before.

By Memorial Day, she had filled up her entire sticker chart and so we took her on the long promised trip to the Butterfly Pavilion, which she had been asking about for a while. We had a great time, and even Jeremy was a gem throughout.

Now poop on the other hand is a different story. Nothing doin'. She hasn't made it once, and I'm not sure if she really tries either, though I honestly don't know. She seems amenable to the idea, though. I've heard lots of parents say that poop can be harder. And the thought has crossed my mind that if I had to learn how to poop in a different way from what I'm used to, it would probably take me more than a couple days, too. Ella has always struggled with poop anyway, which I'm sure adds to the mix. She has I guess what you could call chronic constipation. She's been on a stool softener for over a year now, and every time I try to take her off of it, she gets constipated all over again. Believe me, that is not a pretty sight.

So it appears we've reached a plateau. The good news is that she is great at wearing pull-ups and still peeing in the toilet. What a life saver, as I was really getting sick of cleaning poop out of panties. Let's just say that not all of them survived it, and saw the trash can instead of the washing machine. Shhh, don't tell! I'm just hoping that by her 4th birthday in August, she'll have it all figured out. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

A history of friendship

2008-05-29T11:32:00.003-06:00

Friendship has always been an elusive thing for me. I was the kid in elementary school who hung out with the teacher more than the kids. I even have memories of other kids on the playground telling me they didn't want to play with me, which hurt my feelings immensely. I was a pretty sensitive kid, and kids can be cruel. I was blessed in High School I think out of sheer luck with an awesome group of friends, and then a few close friends in college, all of which I still keep in touch with to varying degrees. I remember sometimes feeling like people were doing me a favor by befriending me. As an adult, I've sort of come into my own on the whole friendship thing--I try to keep in touch with my past good friends as much as possible, and as a young mother, I have a few close friends who I cherish beyond belief, and several acquaintances who I see mostly at formal ward functions and enrichments. I'm definitely not surrounded, though. And that's okay with me. It suits me.

So I'm kind of a loner, and like I said, I'm mostly okay with that. My worry is that my loner-ness will effect Ella's own socialization and she won't learn how to make friends. In all honesty, Ella is a pretty unique kid who looks and thinks about things pretty differently than other kids. This has been my observation, anyway, as I've gotten to know other kids. And it doesn't help that she really isn't interested in the same things that most other little girls are: dolls, dress up, princesses, etc. She loves to pretend, but it usually consists of the personification of certain inanimate objects that hold some sort of novelty to her.

Today, for example, I dropped her off at a friend's house for a playdate with two other little girls who are in her sunbeam class. We were a little late due to my own lack of organization, and the little girls came down the stairs. I could tell the two girls were enjoying each other's company, and were a little hesitant to let another one into her group. I tried to be cheerful and up beat:

"Hi! Do you guys want to play with Ella?"

An exchange of looks. "Okay..." a little hesitantly. And Ella reluctantly followed them up the stairs.

She came back down two minutes later while I was still there chatting with the mom.

"I'm done playing upstairs now," she said.

So here I am, wondering if she just didn't want to play with the other girls, or if they didn't want to play with her, or if they're just too young to be playing together (though the other two seemed to be doing fine together, and their ages are all within three months of each other). These are my thoughts, in addition to wondering if I'm just projecting my own insecurities with friendship onto her.

Eventually we headed back up and she settled herself in front of the Polly Pockets (discarding the pollys in favor of personifying (again) the umbrellas--is this weird?) while the other two played dress-up in another corner.

So there it is. I honestly don't know how to help her make friends as I've never really gotten the knack of it myself. Then again, maybe she just likes her alone time. And I certainly don't want to teach her that she has to change her own interests and personality just to make friends. Maybe she's just a natural loner like both of her parents. Jason and I are both that way. He could care less about the number of friends he has. As a woman, I care a little more, but I mostly just enjoy the few close friendships I do have immensely, Jason being the best and more dearest. (And I get to see him every day, so I'm set!)

So...what do you do to help your kids make friends? Does it just come naturally to everybody but me? Am I the only one who struggles with this? And in the end, does it really matter?

Six months and last day of Joy School

2008-05-22T10:09:00.000-06:00

I've sure been doing a lot of posting on the kids these days. Makes me feel like there's nothing else in my life. Oh wait...that's right, there isn't.

Good thing they're cute, otherwise I'd be really depressed.

Yes, his eyes are always that big.

Except when he smiles, then they're not quite so big.

Anyway, yesterday Jeremy was six months old. Here are some things about Jeremy, (posted probably more for my sake than yours):

*He is mostly sitting up--I just put the boppie behind him because sometimes he forgets he's sitting up and topples over.

*He doesn't wake up anymore 30 minutes after we put him to bed at night...wahoo!

*He wakes up only once at night. We're coming in the homestretch!

*He is really loud. He yells at his toys. No, seriously, I'm not kidding.

*Ella says "I'm glad Jeremy came here to our family." Aww, me too, kiddo!

The other thing that happened yesterday (aside from those nasty booster shots at the doctor) was Ella's last day of Joy School. It was a bittersweet day for me. Well, okay, let's face it, more bitter than sweet. I so enjoy the two mornings a week I get where she's occupied by someone else, Jeremy takes a nap and the house is quiet. (This is also one of the few times I can actually sit down and blog without interruptions.) On the other hand, I can't believe that her first year of preschool is over!! She'll be four years old this summer? When did that happen?!

I'm seriously a little apprehensive about the summer and how we're going to fill our time, but I know August is going to roll around and I'll wonder where all the time went. Isn't that how it always goes? And being done with joy school means focusing on our favorite thing--potty training. (Yes, I'm one of THOSE parents who has an almost 4-year-old who is still in diapers.) So here's to try number 5 (no, that is not an exaggeration). Any prayers in our direction would be greatly appreciated.

First Bite

2008-05-21T09:49:00.003-06:00

Bring it on, mama!

Hmmm....not bad....

In fact, quite tasty!

Here, lemme try that.

What the flip?!?

Some Things I Like

2008-05-14T13:23:00.006-06:00

Wow--it's been since May 1st that I posted anything. I guess I've taken a little break from blogging. There really hasn't been much of note to write about, so I just haven't. But here are a few things that I like, in no particular order, just for the heck of it:

*Undamaged citrus trees. It's amazing the difference it makes when they come in good condition. Our new ones arrived last Thursday--we postponed it a little because it's been such a cold spring and we didn't want the new ones to get frost damage again. We're still trying to figure out the right kind of soil--I guess they like soil that is very well-drained, though it's been kind of tough finding the right balance.

*Wonton wrappers. The possibilities are endless! Last night I made mushroom ravioli semi-scratch (the filling was--the wonton wrappers were store bought). There's a few things I'd change about my recipe, but overall a good experience.

*My kids. They're pretty cool. Here's a cute picture of them.

*Segullah. Man, they've got some good posts these days. And I just got the Spring 2008 edition in the mail last weekend and am enjoying a cover to cover read. I like them because they're LDS women writers who actually like being LDS. Not the disenchanted kind. It's refreshing.

*My kids playing together. Yesterday Ella pulled everything out of the toy basket that she thought Jeremy would like, and was delighted every time he grabbed it from her hand. He was giddy with joy that she was actually paying him some attention. Let's hope this trend of "sharing" continues, though I have my doubts. This picture was taken after the fun had kind of waned, so doesn't capture the fun time--I should've gotten the camera out sooner.

Happy May Day

2008-05-01T13:57:00.004-06:00

Who cares that it's May 1st? We love the snow anyway!

For pete's sake, it's just a squirrel!

2008-04-30T14:17:00.005-06:00

I had an experience the other day that reminded me of this commercial:

I was driving to a doctor's appointment in Boulder when this lady completely stopped four lanes of a busy highway for this little squirrel who was taking his sweet time in the middle of the road. Now, squirrels are cute and all, but do they really warrant a traffic jam? Of course, this is Boulder we're talking about, so of course the answer would be yes, but seriously, if you've ever been there, you know their squirrel population is bordering on an infestation. Though I respect this woman's compassion for all living things, I have to say I think a tiny bit of population control might be in order. I don't think I'm the only one who feels this way. She carefully made her way around the squirrel. The guy behind her didn't.

Poor little squirrel. Honestly, had I been the one in front of the squirrel, I probably wouldn't have wanted to run over it either, but I have to admit the whole experience gave me a good laugh. Does that make me a bad person?

The best kitchen gadget you didn't know you wanted

2008-04-28T21:05:00.000-06:00

Last Christmas, Jason got me this digital cooking thermometer. I was happy when I opened it, but honestly, I didn't even realize how much I would use it. In the last week alone, I have used it for meatloaf, Pamesan Chicken and Rice Casserole, tilapia, and Garlic Chicken. The cord is made out of some type of heat resistant material, so it tolerates normal oven temperatures, and the coolest thing about it is that I can put the metal probe in the meat, put the meat in the oven, and close the door! Then, I set the temperature alert, and it beeps when the meat reaches the desired temperature. My tendency has always been to over-cook meat (especially chicken) because I'm so paranoid about under-cooking. No more tough, rubbery hockey pucks for dinner now--it's the best 20 bucks we've ever spent! Alton Brown would be proud.

Speaking of Alton, he's always got cool gadgets for his kitchen (an infrared thermometer would be cool next Christmas, honey). But he's also my go-to guy for any basic recipe. We acquired a loaf of white bread (a rarity in our house) so I decided to make french toast. I tried Alton's recipe, and boy does he sure know his stuff! The recipe seems really involved, but in actuality was not that bad. I followed it pretty much to a tee (except for adding a dash of cinnamon and nutmeg) and it was the best french toast I've ever made! Nice and toasty on the outside, but chewy on the inside. Yummy!!

Universal Parcel Smashers

2008-04-24T14:52:00.001-06:00

Let me tell you how UPS acquired this nickname at our house.

Our citrus trees arrived last Thursday. The box they came in was marked

LIVING ORGANISM. FRAGILE AND PERISHABLE. DO NOT EXPOSE TO
EXTREME HEAT OR COLD.

Seriously--how could UPS miss that one? Our poor little lemon and tangerine arrived in a sadly battered and beaten box. They looked so forlorn as we planted them in their pots. I'm sure they were pretty trees once. Now their branches are broken, leaves wilted and falling off. All because apparently UPS has not adopted the policy of hiring only employees who can actually read.

Fortunately for us, the company who sent them is golden and will be sending us two new trees next week. Yay! And another fortunately is that the lime tree was remarkably unscathed (I guess a literate employee was handling that box). It has lovely aromatic flowers and a lot of tiny limes beginning to grow. It smells like spring inside our house!

5 Months

2008-04-21T20:23:00.000-06:00

Here are some things I love about Jeremy at five months:

*He almost always has a smile for me. (Takes after his dad in that regard!)
*He watches everything so keenly and has the cutest surprised faces when something unexpected happens.
*He puts himself to sleep.
*His favorite person to watch is his big sister. (Check out my sidebar for the adoring smile he gives her!)

Happy 5 month birthday, little man!

Parsley, Sage, Rosemary...

2008-04-14T14:10:00.000-06:00

...You get the drift.

Last weekend I found this happy little planter for my new herb garden in our kitchen bay window.

And yes, I planted it with parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme (though the rosemary has its own separate pot) as well as chives, cilantro, oregano and basil. The green plant you can see is oregano. I planted seeds with everything else, but I already had an oregano plant that I transplanted. I'm so excited to have fresh herbs growing in my kitchen, because I love to cook with them. And I hate how you have to buy this big bunch at the grocery store that costs an arm and a leg, and usually more than half goes to waste before I can use it all. Though the planter was a bit of a splurge, I'm hoping it will eventually be cost effective, and it just looks pretty. It's always so satisfying for me to grow something and then use it to nourish--or add flavor to--loved ones' tummies.

Speaking of growing things...Jason and I always get the bug to plant about this time every year. Since our back yard is roughly the size of a postage stamp, a garden isn't very feasible. So we're finding new outlets. Jason bought this palm last week.

But the most exciting thing we're going to do is grow citrus trees indoors! We both fell in love with the idea, and found this awesome nursery called Four Winds Growers that grafts their own drawf citrus trees. Jason uses this website called Dave's Garden to find out about gardening tips, and everyone who has used Four Winds has nothing but great things to say about their experience with them. So we took the plunge and ordered a lemon, lime and tangerine tree last week, and they should be arriving this Wednesday! I can't wait, and will post pictures once they arrive.

Little Trooper

2008-04-10T15:50:00.000-06:00

Ella has some mild Sensory Processing issues that we are currently seeking treatment for with occupational therapy. One of the ways this affects her is she has difficulty processing loud noises. Her occupational therapist recommended therapeutic listening to help with this.

She is supposed to listen twice a day for 20-30 minutes each time. Right now I'm lucky to get it in once. She just really hates wearing headphones in general, and these ones are about as big as her head, and probably not that comfortable, either. And the music is another thing. It is sound engineered specifically for this type of sensitivity, and some of it is, quite frankly, bizarre sounding. I have to say, though, that Ella is being a trooper. I know she doesn't like it, but she's trying hard to do it. I had to take this picture of her because she just looks so dang cute in these huge headphones. If you know her at all, you can tell by the way she's shrugging her shoulders and her tentative smile that she's not having the best time. But bless her heart, she's trying. It also helps when she knows a bribe is on its way when she's finished!

Who's excited??

2008-04-09T21:06:00.000-06:00

At long last, The Office is back!! Oh, what a long and dreary winter it's been without all my friends at Dunder Mifflin. Especially because it's the only TV show I watch regularly. So tomorrow night at 8:00 MST, everybody knows where I'll be!

I took The Office personality quiz, and guess who I'm most like? Dwight! Okay, just kidding, it's really Pam, but I thought it would be funny to give you all a heart attack.

So, who are you most like? Find out here. Then, skip on over to my sidebar and take my reader poll.

PS If no one votes, I'll know that nobody likes me. Or that nobody reads my blog. So vote!

Night Owl

2008-04-07T09:00:00.001-06:00

It's amazing to me that siblings can be so different. Take Ella and Jeremy for example. Night and day, I tell ya! While Ella only napped intermittently in thirty minute spurts, Jeremy naps quite well. So well, in fact that he's very proud of himself for being able to stay up so late!

The little stinker. Pretty chipper for 10:30 at night! If he weren't so cute, we'd sell him to the gypsies. Then again, his cuteness would probably fetch us a pretty nice price. Vacation to Fiji anyone?

And now for the methods...

2008-04-06T18:13:00.000-06:00

I love to dink around in the kitchen. It's been a growing passion pretty much since I became a vegetarian in college, and then got married and became an un-vegetarian again. My cooking style has changed as I've learned more and become more adventurous.

I plan on frequently posting recipes here that I either make up or modify, or just fun ones I find from different places that aren't my own. I have a hard time remembering some of the stuff I make up because I don't write it down in the madness of the moment while I'm dicing and stirring and de-glazing and tasting. Hopefully I will be able to remember better if I blog about it.

Tonight we had Farfalle Pasta with Creamy Wild Mushroom Sauce, courtesy of Cooking Light. For the recipe, click here. There's a picture of it on my sidebar as well. It's a very versatile dish that can be used as a main course or a side. Tonight I used it as a side with grilled steak and a green salad, but I've also served it as a main course. The mushrooms add just the right amount of heartiness for a light but filling meal. The recipe calls for a blend of exotic mushrooms, but I usually just use cremini because they are easier to find and cheaper. Tonight I also threw in a little fresh thyme that I happened to have on hand along with the fresh parsley. Yum.

I also threw together a rub for the steak. Here's what I did:

2 tsp. kosher salt
1 tsp. powdered onion
1 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. dry mustard
1/2 tsp. ground black pepper

I rubbed it on about 1 1/3 lbs of meat. It was pretty good, but too salty. I will probably half the salt next time (at least). I did like the mild flavor it added to the steak--not too overpowering so you could taste the meat, but it livened it up a bit.

The madness begins here

2008-04-04T04:32:00.001-06:00

I used to have a different blog. But I didn't post regularly, even though I wanted to. I've decided that's because I didn't really have a theme or direction, I was just aimlessly blogging. And I also think I was just trying too hard. Trying too hard to be funny, philosophical, sophisticated, etc. That had to stop.

So here's my new blog about my passions: cooking, reading, my family, whatever whim strikes me, and the wonderful madness of life. I don't really care what you think, but I'd love to hear it anyway.

And to prove it:

This is me being woken up at 3:00 a.m. by my son, and then not being able to sleep afterwards. It's definitely not pretty, but it's my life.

I'm getting my hair cut Saturday. Stay tuned for those pictures. I'm hoping they'll be prettier. :)